Just Venting...Sorry for thos offended
Today my thoughts have been getting away from me.
I'm enraged at the fact that my husband pays over 1200 a month in child support for 2 children that have no appreciation for anything. Not only does he pay this money. We buy clothes, shoes, food, and he pays medical insurance, life insurance for him his children and ex wife until they are 18(court ordered).My husband is a great fathe and never once complains about doing anything for his children. I am not upset about the support for them per say...I mean he should provide for them (children not the mother she works), but the amount of money that comes out of our house..WOW....and we are on a very tight budget we never eat out we can't afford vacations, and we have a very very modest savings that was eaten up by plumbing issues this winter. I'm just pissed off today. I have to hear about al the trips mom takes to the bahamas, and how they eat out every single night. Why is this fair? Why does it seem the seond wife and if I ever have any children the second set of children have to live in poverty for support to be paid. Oh I forgot to mention they stay with us 2 days a week and everyother weekend..Sigh...Just venting nevermind me. These are the things they never explain when you get married you know you're marrying a man with children but until you live it its not a reality. My vent is over
Is BM pasing the kids?
Is BM pasing the kids?
I feel the exact same way
I feel the exact same way most of the time. I love my DH but it hurts me to know that another woman has more power over him than I do, that another woman practically dictates our schedule. BM always makes threats, take him to court, etc...Most of the time, he lets her have her way as to avoid costly attorney fees and the stress of going to court. I can't complain about my ssons because generally they are good kids and when they act out, it's age appropriate (they're 4 and 5). My headache has to do with BM's manipulative and evil behavior. It's as if she's trying to punish DH for having a life.
Sorry I don't have any comforting words for you as I'm in similar boat. What keeps me going is the love I have for my husband, knowing what a wonderful father he is. It sucks that I'm being "forced" to make sacrifices, count pennies, use coupons, while his ex is out there living the life. It sucks knowing that DH won't be able to offer our biokids the same things he offer the ssons but I take comfort in knowing that our biokids will be raised by both parents under the same roof, that our kids have two sane, stable parents. It's not fair but I would much rather give my children stability over eating out every night.
I know what you mean. I
I know what you mean. I became almost an extreme couponer to help our family get by. Then I find out that BM is PAYING to have her groceries DELIVERED. Not only paying for the delivery fee BUT you can't even USE coupons on delivered groceries here!
We had two cars that were each over 15 years old and living in a fixer-upper (and bit off WAY more than we could chew!) whereas she lived in a new 5 bedroom house (for her and the two skids!) and drove a brand new car!! How in the heck can that be considered fair?
It seems so unbalanced to me.
It seems so unbalanced to me. I mean if you're expected to have the children as much if not more of the time ( Summer we alternate weeks, and spring bring everyother day) why is it ok to tke half if not more than half of a man's pay???? I mean I just don't get it. BM actually tookk us to court and complained we don't feed them good things..My response.." Judge we are on a budget and we have to eat baked chicken and veggies and hamburger macaroni becaus that's all we can afford" I mean I would love t take them to Olive Garden and Red Robin, mostly so I don't have to cook, but some days we can only afford pata and sauce or grilled cheese and soup. I amke sure they eat..I just can't get gourment restaurant food. Sorry. We were looking to plan for a summer vacation, but I just can't part with what's left in our savings I mean what if something a necessity comes up...Drats...I wish I was carefree and didn't care. So even trying to go away and relax is out of the question. And the bragging ...goodness makes me sick to my stomach.
The food items you listed are
The food items you listed are good food and seems balanced and healthy to me! What did she want you to feed her kids? lobster everyday?
I try to make balanced
I try to make balanced choices with what we can afford. I mean I refuse to do the fast food thing. But yes she goes to red Lobster and Bravo daily so i gues sthat's what she expects...can't do it.
I sure hope the judge pointed
I sure hope the judge pointed out to her how ridiculous she was! Not everyone can afford Red lobster daily. I feel bad for those kids because they'll grow up thinking that it's normal to go out to eat daily. I hate to see how dissaponted they will be when they're in college and can't afford Red Lobster-unless BM plans to financially support them their whole life.
I have been on both sides. I
I have been on both sides. I have an ex husband who has a new wife (10 yrs not so new anymore) and he has had to pay over the years a nice chunk every month. I now have a dh who has to pay also but not nearly as much but at times he struggles. I believe the 1st bill that he should pay is that one because whatever other bills he has he knew he already had responsbility elsewhere. And trust and believe it gets on my nerves but I feel like it is the right thing to do. I am bias because I have been on the end where my ex doesn't pay because he has his own bills or whatever. The same thing that makes you laugh, makes you cry.
DH doesn’t pay child support
DH doesn’t pay child support because we actually have SD more than BM does.. Well it’s supposed to be 50/50 but we somehow always end up having her extra days because BM doesn’t want to get her on her days and even when she does have her, she pawns her off on someone else whether it be her mother or even my DH’s mother.
Anyway, even though DH doesn’t pay child support, I can kind of relate because we don’t have a ton of money coming in, yet BM lives off welfare and seems to be pretty comfortable. It’s just nauseating to see the 2 of us going to work every day and struggling to pay the bills, when BM does not work, has never worked a real job in her life, has 3 kids by 3 different men, and just sits on her ass and collects welfare and food stamps, reduced housing and utilities, free daycare (yes, she gets free daycare even though she does not work), I mean you name it, she gets it for free. It’s infuriating!
I feel all of your pain. BF
I feel all of your pain. BF pays BM $920.00 a month for the one kid that they have together. She has 5 kids from 4 different men. She is a single mother, divorced twice. She of course gets Govt assistance, new car every 1-2 years, hair done, nails, tanning, skid always has name brand clothes, flat screen tv, new video games, etc.
Then there's my BF...he drives a beat up truck on its last leg, lives in a makeshift room in a basement apt with a friend and although we would love to get married we can't because we aren't able to afford a place of our own at this time.
Sad part is my BF makes GREAT money. But when you look at his paychecks every week after he pays for the f'n kid he had with his gold digging whore XW you would think that he worked at McDonald's 20 hours a week!!!
It sucks how much one persons stupid fuck up can ruin not only their life/future but also the life/future of the person that gets with/wants to be with them.
Seriously there is no such thing as a "Justice" system when it comes to CS....
{{{HUGS}}} That would more
:jawdrop: {{{HUGS}}} That would more then piss me off too.
I never had understood why the outrageous amounts of child support that is ordered above having to provide clothes, shoes, school supplies, and everything else. It seems like it should be child support or all the other stuff..not both! I know kids are not cheap to have/raise but really???
FYI I'm just another step parent and clueless to what exactly it takes to raise kids.