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Mini mom situation

Tmichelle's picture

My sd is 23 yrs old and she really doesn't care about us, hadnt seen since last Christmas but now my husband is in hospital for 2 weeks and she's calling nurses all the time when not here, its just the drama where she can make this about how she rushed to him at 3am bc of course since she got her RN license about 5 mins ago (this past May she graduated getting the RN). She's just all in now bc she gets chance to make this over dramatic and somehow be about her coming to the rescue. When she left hospital last pm she actually said to me that it would be best him to rest & me not o to visit...wow! Im trying to react in a "right way and not flip out bc ive barely been sleeping or eating... anyone deal with this stuff, the daughteracting like her role is #1 and like she needs to take care of him. I kinda went along with it all today bc she had left her work and drove at 3AM bc she calls & asks for updates, tries telling his nurse basically how to  call HER if anything changes or need decisions made. .I'm in shock now, lol. I love her, but she IS that woman, who looks for drama then tries to put herself in middle of it so she can start saying how he couldn't made it without her there  Lol. I really appreciate her but she still has to realize the huge difference in between myself and her our roles. 

 

tog redux's picture

She sounds delightful. Make sure the hospital knows who is his health care proxy (hopefully you) and that anything serious needs to be discussed with you first. Then ignore her as much as possible. 
 

2 weeks is a long time, hope he will be okay. 

Kes's picture

What a totally obnoxious young woman she sounds. I totally identify with making any drama about them - my SDs do this. Ugh. As tog said, make sure the hospital knows YOU are the one to be phoned, NOT her.   You say you love her?  I would be hard pushed to stomach her, let alone love her. Bad

positivelyfourthstreet's picture

My husband passed away several months ago.  We had many ups and downs.  A lot of downs actually because he was abusive.  I didn't love him like I once did but I cared enough to look after him the best I could and I did until I was hospitalized.  I had surgery for oral cancer.  It was a ten hour surgery and I had to learn how to swallow, walk, talk, eat, etc because they basically rebuilt my mouth.  I was communicating by text or with pen and paper or whiteboard for quite some time even after I came home.

Shortly after I went into the hospital my husband did so we were both hospitalized at the same time but in different hospitals.  Since I was literally incapable of speech, we decided that SD would be the visitor for him.  His hospital only allowed one person to visit.  Period.  When my husband and I decided on that, we also decided that my son and daughter would be able to call in.

When SD swooped in to his rescue she became gatekeeper supreme and took his cellphone.  We were no longer able to contact him at all.  Before then, we were texting each other.  

We believe she smeared us when contacting his friends.  She also had access to his e mail and maybe our bank accounts for sure the notifications for them.

While I am thankful she was there so he wouldn't be all alone, I am also heartbroken that she abused the trust we put in her.  Me and the kids think it was mostly a power grab and for the attention on facebook and contacting all his friends.

There are many other things that happened but I already hijacked your blog enough.

Bottom line, fight for your position if you can as long as you can.  They never stop trying to usurp you and step on your toes.  My SD did it and smiled in my face offering her assistance.  She didn't care she just wanted more time off from work and to be all up in our business.  I was not able to fight anymore and she really took advantage and possibly did major damage.  She even tried to run over me at the funeral home along with my BIL but the guy at the funeral home didn't let them.