I have been married for 5 years and have a 8 year old stepdaughter. I have been in her life since she was 2. We used to get along great. I treated her like my own child. Her BM is a complete wacko. She has always let her do whatever she wanted and never disciplined her. She thinks she's too young. Well, since sd has gotten older...her attitude has gotten worse. When she comes to our house she is very disrespectful, rolls her eyes, tries to boss my 4 year old son around...ect. Then when she goes home she tells her mother lies about my house so her mom will call and yell at my husband...these are flat out lies. She is doing this because she knows how to play the parents against eachother....her mom says it's normal for a 8 year old girl to be so snotty and that she is too young to be punished for lying. Well last week I get a phone call from my husband saying that he just got off the phone with bm and she is not going to allow sd to come over anymore because I ignore her and she doesn't think I like her. The truth is I do ignore her. I dread when she comes to my house...because she acts like she doesn't want to be here and I know that when she goes home she is going to make up more lies and start more trouble and I can't stand the fact that nothing is ever done about it...so I try to stay away from her as much as possible and figure that if my husband wants to kiss her ass then he can do it...but I refuse to let a 8 year old disrespect me, so I don't even bother with her. Anyways, about the phone call...I tell him that he needs to set up a time when him, me, bm and her husband can get together and talk without sd there...she said there was no reason for it and I could just call her...I have tried talking to her before on the phone and got absolutely nowhere...I would have been able to have a more intelligent convo with my 4 year old. So I wrote her a myspace message explaining everything that was going on. I did not attack her daughter in the message, but just explained that I am sick of the lying and her being snobby to me, my friends and my family. My own son wouldn't get away with it and neither will she...and so on. Well she replies and says that I will never see her again and that she will see my husband in court...To tell you the truth I really don't give a crap if I ever see her again...but I am married to her father and I don't want to live like that. I do want to get along with her and be closer to her...but she makes it impossible. She is starting all of this drama and she is only 8...what is going to happen when she is 16? My husband thinks I am totally wrong and that I should not give up on her because it's not her fault that she is the way she is...I get that, but when is she going to be accountable for her own actions. This is so bad, I have even thought about divorcing my husband...but I don't want to tear apart my family over a kid that is at our house every other weekend. Hubby and I agreed that something needs to be done about her lying when she goes home...the only problem is we have her every other weekend and her mother will not help us at all and we live almost 2 hours away from her...but she has to know that she won't get away with it anymore...at least not from us...does anyone have any advice on how to deal with her and any ideas on what I should do to establish a relationship with her? I am at my wits end and just need some advice on others that have went thru/are going thru the same thing. Sorry this is so long...Thanks in advance for any replies.