How do you deal?
I am so glad I found this site. It's nice to be able to vent with people who go thru the same stuff I do. For the last couple years I have not been able to get close to my sd. It. seemed like no matter what I did, she hated me and treated me like crap...and I was also kind of jealous...bm got married and she is very close to her husband and I have been around longer than him...even though he treats her like a lil princess and does what he's told...but still I wanted that bond with her and it never happened..so eventually I just gave up.
I don't like the person I have become with her though. I hate the thoughts that I have about her and bm. I go to church and work with kids and I still can't shake the horrible feelings I have about her. When my husband tells me that she is sick and won't be coming to our house, I am happy. I feel like a horrible person...but just with this issue. I think maybe because I am a control freak and am trying to raise my own kids to be respectful people and can't stand how sd acts and I know I can't do anything about it and knowing that I have no control over how she turns out. Does anyone else feel guilty for the way they feel and anyone have any advice on how to change it?
Your thoughts are mine;)
Don't feel guilty -- you may be a little controlling (aren't we all?), but you are not a control freak. You have high expectations of your kids and you are getting resentful because the bar is not raised for your SD, which isn't good for anyone, especially her. I think your thoughts are typical of your situation and don't feel bad about them. Focus on what you are doing with your kids and just try to endure the time SD is with you.
im in the same boat
its not the people we are, its the unbearable situations we are put in that make us feel and react this way. no advice on how to change, except expect and demand more from yr DH in the way of SDs behavior.