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SD lost her costume at BM w/in a week

violet_petal's picture

Today was a halloween party at SD's school. We let her have her costume for the week so she would be wearing it when her dad picked her up. She had a completely different costume that was bought for her. She lost the costume we gave her in 5 days. Not sure what really went on there... Her BM does have a picture posted on Facebook of her wearing it that was put up on Thursday. Of course I blamed her BM; did she not like it or really loose it because of being disorganized, etc.
My BF got upset at me since I was blaming the BM and cause him to think ill of her all the time. He had already talked with his daughter about her loosing the costume but I had not known that. If she was my daughter, I might have considered not letting her go trick or treating at all depending on her response. However, I do not know what her response was. He wants to keep the peace as much as possible which I get so BM doesn't try anything reckless on us. On the other side he has been telling me that I should be able to express my feelings about our SD which does unfortunately involve the BM.

violet_petal's picture

She's broken very cheap toys in the past. Twice they have been replaced by boyfriend and myself. She looses a costume and her mom's side of the family replaces it. I know we shouldn't of started that trend but I let my boyfriend do it the first time (like I had a choice) and then I did. It's just a bad habit and can make her take things for greanted. My boyfriend did scold her that night and said we need to start letting her take things home. I was disappointed in her.
Maybe I'm over reacting as usual as my boyfriend always tells me. Maybe I just suck as a step mom and he should trade me in for a new one.

Ashleymorman's picture

If she can't be responsible she shouldn't have things replaced. Replacing them is teaching her that she will always get what she wants if she destroys first. Youre not over reacting. And yeah, it's hard to be a perfect step parent. Especially when you have no say in discipline

violet_petal's picture

Thank you! I agree she needs to start learning to be responsible and learn value of things. Especially since she has unopened birthday gifts from last year.

violet_petal's picture

Thank you! Thank you! I couldn't ground her because she's not mine but I think I would of if she was. She's a good kid mostly but I feel she needs to start learning the value of things and take responsibility since she is 8 years old.