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Tired of OUR FAMILY always coming LAST!

Julie30's picture

My BF is really driving me insane lately to the point that I just want to walk away and cut my losses so BIG TIME...

I feel like OUR family here, is always at the bottom of his priority list.

He has a SON aka Juvenile Deliquent who was arrested for marijuana "felony" and has since been moved to an alternative school which makes BF responsible for picking up his daughter every morning "She lives about 20 minutes away from here", he then drives her two blocks to her school just so the BIO can take her son to the alternative school. Then BF picks him up at 1pm and he is here until 5pm - URGH. Then the BIO picks him up. This is costing BF average of $180.00 extra every month, plus the extra food, etc. it's all B.S. and I am tired of it.

What really topped it off is that BF's son was sent to jail. Bio told my BF that she would pay the $1000.00 Bail but BF had to get the loan from boss. So, BF gets loan and works his ass off getting overtime to cover it. Meanwhile I take care of the house, our baby etc. so son is bailed out the day he goes in and BIO gives BF $270.00 and then tells him the bond was reduced to $800 so she will now be getting a refund for $200.00 as for the rest she told BF that she was not paying him back, Laughed and said IT SUCKS DON'T IT.. And BF is just dealing with it. OH WAIT he did tell her that he wouldn't pick up there daughter every morning but she had daughter call after 4 days and beg her daddy to take her to school again and of course he gave in.

Now our BABIES birthday is tomorrow. It's his 1st birthday. BF didn't want me to get him anything, claiming that he already has enough. He said his ex's just baked a cake and that is how they celebrated. Well I am not his ex trailer trash type of gal and my son will have a nice 1st birthday. So, I went to Toys R Us and bought some things he needed. I asked BF if he could pick up the cake and buy some balloon and plates but he said I really don't have the money, I can only afford $28.00 for the cake. HOW SAD!

I hung up and called the SOB back from the store and told him I would pick up the cake tomorrow, I will also get the ballons, party favors, etc. and I expect him to pay for 1/2 probably around $150.00 he has the gall to tell me that is ridiculus and he can't do it but we have his kids here ALMOST DAILY and on the weekends we do have them it's a $200.00 week EASILY...

I just got back from a week of VACATION in the mountains. I come home and SOB only watches our baby for an hour while I go to the store and said he cannot bath the baby because his head hurts. Yet, I managed taking care of him an entire week all alone on a trip! I am furious.

Then I bring up the pretty snow I saw and how I want to live there and he tells his kids - Yeah, she wants me to move up there "BUT I WOULD NEVER EVER LEAVE YOU GUYS", she can go up there and I will visit. What does that say about our relationship, except that it's a joke.

I told him I want him to start paying 1/2 the bills but now I am wondering what I really want. I feel like these kids are on a pedestal and we are crap. Can anyone relate?

Should I leave him? I would love some advise.

Thanks

YoungStepMomof2's picture

YoungStepMomof2
When it comes to his kids from his former relationship, there is never a but, or I don't have money. Whenever we need something here, it's always a complaint or something. Right now I am an emotional wreck. I just also found an envelope which was mailed to his job from his ex with the children's report cards in it... fine. The problem... she used a stamp that says hugs and kisses on them! I'm so frustrated, should I call her and say something, or don't give her the satisfaction?

tyra's picture

My advice...just leave that one alone. Don't give her the satisfaction that it bothers you. If they know, they will do all sorts of things to get to you. I know I have been through this one. They become even sweeter to your husband and the in laws (that they never liked before).

I would somehow try to let it go. It will infect your relationship and before long your marriage will be over. This takes a lot of work...I am working on this one daily.....but I can already feel the differnce in me and us.

As for the other thing...I don't think it is acceptable to make the "second family" any less of a priority than his first family. Children need love. Not sure if you have kids but it won't be long before they realize they are second to the the ex's. That then creates a whole lot of other emotional problems. Maybe sit down and talk to you husband and explain to him how much this hurts you and you do realize that his kids from his first marriage are important but you want your new family to be equal. And that's not too much to ask!!!!

Good Luck to you