Updates on the Saga
So I thought I would update you all on the joyous skids saga.
Well as you are aware, college money, cell phones, etc have been paid for by us. DH could not bring himself to set boundaries and BM has used the skids as pawns in this game etc. It is all just crazy. Then Sunday the blow up happened and they won't communicate with DH.
As of a couple hours ago, he and I were unfriended on FB, and still no communication. He has an email that he is "letting gel" that is going to cut the skids off of the funds. I haven't heard yet on the phone, but the college money is gone.
I am amazed at the audacity of the BM and the skids in this situation. To think that they can treat a man who has given more than most parents. I have watched him (us) shell out oodles of money, time and energy. We traveled across the country once to twice a month to keep visitation. We have attended as many events as possible, we have been abused by the BM, we even moved to where they are to be close when we had the ability rather than go where we wanted to go....and now they are just throwing it right back.
So enough ranting I guess...but just thought you would all like to know. Now I get to deal with the DH, his emotional ups and downs on this topic while trying to cope with my own sadness/anger/frustration...sigh.
Thanks for listening!
I guess it meant, just making
I guess it meant, just making sure the right words were there. He sent it about 30 minutes ago. Now I am sitting here wondering if it was the right boundary to set. I am the one that said he should set this boundary because he had no other, and now he used it, and I feel like shit.....
DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL
DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL LIKE SHIT OVER THIS.
This was a boundary that needed setting. Well - the boundary needed setting and if you and your OH decided this was the way to go then that is done. Do not wallow in it or feel guilt over it - YOU did not create this mess they did.
So no matter what they throw at you and him now you both need to stand firm and KNOW you have done nothing to deserve it. You are putting in place a boundary that should have been there from the start and they need to learn to deal with that.
They will rail against it and ramp up the nasty like nobodies business - and you will feel crap because of it - that is what normal decent people do - they have empathy and normal feelings. DO NOT GIVE IN TO IT. Any guilt you will feel is misplaced.
Just keep talking to him, and when he gets angry/upset etc talk to him, remind him of WHY you have both had to take this step - that it's not your fault, and not his fault.
Hugs to you both, hope your OH has the backbone to see it through.