Oh boy, gonna watch this one.

I personally don't agree that it should be used to equalize both families standard of living, since if that was true then if the CP earned a vast majority more than the NCP, and they have 60/40, then shouldn't the CP still pay to bring up the standard of living in the NCP's house? I know it happens but I think that's a bit crazy. Especially for those who were never married.

If you are frugal, then you don't have to spend that much. Also, I don't believe it's only the NCP's job to financially support the child. To me, whatever the NCP gives, the CP should match, and that's where all the expenses come out of for the kid. So if someone get $600 for their child in CS, I think it's only fair they put $600 in, for a total of $1200 a month to raise the child.

I think then this combined total should be used for the child and the child it is designated for only. So if there are four people in the house, it should cover 1/4 of utilities, property taxes (if there are any), mortgage (if there is any), or rent (if there is any.) 1/4th of food, and so on. To have it cover the difference from a one bedroom to a two bedroom apartment is a little OD, as I know a family who have lived comfortably in 1 bedroom apartments, and it's a teenage boy, an adult girl, and their mom for their entire lives. They made it work.

Of course, to me, that is just crazy to spend $1200 a month to raise a child if you're not saving up for college and going to ask for extras. I mean, what does a baby REALLY need? What does a toddler REALLY need? We are so stuck in the consumer mindset of getting this play pen and that toy and this cute jacket when something much cheaper can definitely be used. Also, what happened to sending the child out to play instead of playing on an iPad or video games. Making them do prep books instead of sending them to prep school?

I guess I feel, since I am very budget conscious and still live and financially comfortable life, that many things are not necessities, and only clutter up one's life, and the life of their kids.

Then again, I try to live my life spartan and minimalistically. Give me a floor futon on tatami with nothing else in the room except an under the floor store space (where I can keep the futon and blankets and pillows when not in use) and I'm in heaven.

I've been going over my budget for the one in my belly and after actually sitting down and looking at what I actually need--I am at a loss as to what else I could buy other than a few sets of clothes from Goodwill, diapers, a car seat, and a breast pump with some bottles. These are the bare necessities (and even then the breast pump is really not) and since I'm not interested in a crib (actually we are installing my dream room in the attic so we'll all be on the floor or a stroller), and I don't want baby toys in the house other than a few stuff animals I will be making, I seriously can't imagine how expensive this baby is actually going to be with my standard of living.

I agree with Formygirl.

Some NCP parents pay such a low amount in CS, that they look like asses when they complain. about extras.

DF's CS order is only $360 a month for TWO kids. As much as I hate BM, I think some of her request for help with extras.are justified.

CS is supposed to pay for the child's necessities, that means food, shelter, clothes and medical. Extra-curriculars are not necessities, the sports fees are extras and Biodad is not obligated to pay for them. Now the tennis shoes - that's what CS is for and your DH should not be paying for those.

Check your DH's court order to see if medical and extra curriculars are covered. It should state how extra-curriculars and medical expenses are to be handled.

My order says both parents have to agree to sign the child up for extra-curriculars and split the cost - and if both parents can't agree then the parent that wants the child to participate pays for the activity.
The cost of the insurance premium I pay to cover our two girls is calculated into the amount of CS paid. I pay for any co-pays.

Wow...we must have the same BM! My BF is ordered to pay 920.00 per month. BM is a lazy, gold digging, entitled, waste of skin and she too manages to have a new vehicle every 1-2 years, hair, nails, tanning, etc. and she has 5 kids from 4 different men. Only ONE belongs to my BF. So of course we KNOW that my man's hard work pays for her whole fucking clan and of course herself. We just recently found out that BM got married again (marriage #3) and neither her nor her new hubby currently have jobs. So her only "income" of course is MY man's money and the youngest kids daddy she never went after CS for because according to her hes a loser and she wouldnt get much of anything because he works at Best Buy and the oldest 3 she now only gets between 65-150 a week for so in essence it is my man that upholds her household. MUST BE NICE!!! My BF can't afford a new vehicle or his own place but BM and her family sure aren't hurting in the living well department!!! GO FIGURE!!!

So....my wonderful man doesn't give that bitch ANYTHING more than the 920.00 a month that is CO to pay. I receive 400.00 a month from my son's father and I make that work and NEVER ask for more or extra for this or that and he technically owes me 574.16 a month as per our CO...so that bitch can sure as hell support ONE kid on that 920.00 a month!!!

Everything comes out of the CS and you pay extra for nothing unless it is clearly called for in the CO. If your CO is typical the only extra things called for, if any, are things like half of visitation travel costs, medical expenses not covered by insurance, etc..... If it is not called for in the CO, don't pay for anything.

I do not have biokids, I am a stepdad so my perspective may be a bit confusing. Don't get me wrong. I would dearly have loved to take my Skid's SpermIdiot to the cleaners but the courts in the Peoples Republic of SpermLand (Oregon)has no compunction towards holding serial breeders accountable for their actions.

CS started at $110/mo when my SS was 1yo. It went up to $130/mo when he turned 2 and stayed there until he was 11. Then I was finally able to convince my bride to nail DickHead's worthless ass to the wall. So it bounced way up and down for a year through court orders and counter claims until it settled at $380/mo until the kid turned 18 when it stopped. It could have continued if my Skid had not allowed the SpermClan to guilt him out of waiving the requirement that CS continued while SS was in college with CS being directly deposited to SS's account rather than my wife's account. Were I my SKid I would have kept the worthless POS on the hook for as long as I could. But that is just me.

Even with someone as detestable as the SpermIdiot I would not suggest that an NCP pay one penny more than the CO requires. Anything else can be contributed while the kid is on visitation or in a manner that benefits only the kid and not the X.

IMHO of course.

Sincerely,

I was always told that CS pays was for food, shelter, and clothing. Anything else should be outlined in the decree regarding who pays what. Not sure about the equalizing of homes theory because CS is based on income. I guess in some cases it could, but in many it does not. If the NCP has little or no income they cannot equalize anything. In our case the NCP was ordered to pay (not that she ever atually paid)the state minimum. That amounth did not even cover a week's worth of food/hot lunch for them in my home.

I agree with everyone that is saying go by what is court ordered and not one single dime more. Sounds like the BM in your situation is taking advantage of your husband because she thinks he will pay it since it is for princess. That is not how it works. There should not be long drawn out conversations with her about it either. One call or text telling her to read the divorce decree/ court order regarding child support and to stop contacting him about money if it is not covered in wht he is ordered to pay is all your DH should allow.

CS is a crock of shit as far as I am concerned. It should be called NAIL YOUR BABBY DADDY & SPEND HIS CASH ON MOMMY to the wall support. To those of you who actually USE the CS on your children, I am not speaking to you.
Our BM has received an unGodly amount of $$ from my DH throughout the years. Yet, SD12 is always in NEED of something or another. School uniforms, shoes, trip $$, the list goes on and on. My DH also pays for part of her tuition, yet, BM is always 2 and 3 months behind causing SD to get letters threatening to be suspended for lack of payment. BM travels once a year for 2 and 3 weeks at a time, has the latest Gucci bag and her hair and nails are ALWAYS done. But the Skid is always last on the list. For this reason, I have pretty much forbidden my DH from spending ONE EXTRA CENT on SD at the BMs request. When she is at our house, he can shop for her and take her out, when she is with her mother she is HER responsibility. SS, who lives with us doesn't get a penny from BM and NEVER did since he moved in.

I believe that each parent should be responsible for paying 50% of what the child costs. I believe that medical bills should be split. Usually if the NCP has to pay for medical insurance 100%, that is factored into the amount of monthly support that is paid.

Any extra-curriculars are to be split equally only if BOTH parties agree. That is only fair. We have a BM who has a lot more money "under the table" than what is actually claimed to be her income. But she had plenty of money AND had a rich family to sponge off of as necessary. This enabled her to attempt to nickle and dime us to death with deciding to put the kids in anything and everything she could find (I wondered if she ever spent any time with them HERSELF) and then wanting us to foot half the bill. The problem was, she never once consulted DH for how it would affect his visitation time with them or if he had the extra funds to help out - much less pay half.

Then she would use those extra activities to justify canceling the COed visitations...even after getting a Contempt of Court fine AND a tongue lashing from the judge that DH could take them to these activities, too, if he wanted to and having those activities should not supercede a COURT ORDER.

I've went round and round with this issue in my head and I really think it depends on your situation. FDH & I have agreed that he pays nothing more than what is ordered in the CO. BM lives with her rich family on their very large property in a huge house and pays nothing for food, rent or utilities AND she works full time and has her mom watch Fss for FREE. At one point BM enrolled Fss into the most expensive daycare in the city and asked FDH to "help" pay for it for the first month while she got on her feet, which didn't even make sense because she in no way struggles financially but FDH at that point was still afraid of her withholding visitation and said okay. Well after that first month it went from asking him to help to demanding that he cover it because it was his "responsibility." This psycho even had her mom call FDH and start demanding that he continue paying because I guess BM started demanding that her own mother pay it because FDH said no more... The craziest thing of it all was BM wasn't even working, she just "wanted" him to get out of the house more. Another time When FDH and I first started dating she would always hit him up for money and when he said no she would threaten to hold visitation and once even offered sexual favors. I also remember the first week FDH and I started dating she was blowing his phone up because Fss needed new shoes and she was demanding that FDH buy them because she needed to pay her cell phone bill. Ridiculous, right?

All in all, I think there are great BM's out there that really use the money for their kids. Unfortunately the BM here isn't that way. She uses the CS for herself and her family pretty buys everything Fss needs. Thus we don't pay a penny extra, I say we because we own a home together and share our finances. Fss is here every weekend and comes w/ the clothes on his back and nothing more. He has his room here and we supply clothes, toys, food, everything. since then anytime BM has tried contact FDH to ask for more FDH lets her know that if she is incapable of taking care of Fss that we are more than happy to take him in. But no extras to anything becuase with this bm you give an inch and she'll take a mile.