What should I do for my SD6 birthday
Hi all!!
Just wondering what you would or do when it comes to skids bday?I love my SKids, not like my own but like nieces I guess or little friends, they annoy me but thats because they are kids and because DH can be ver relaxed about it all.
My SD will be 6 soon and I also have a SD2. Usually what happens is on her actual bday DH and MIL would go over to BM's and give her a present, have cake etc.Then the following saturday we would have them and do a family party for DH's side of the family. Before me and DH met they would all spend the day together, which no one enjoyed!
Anywasy BM has flat out refused to acknowledge me in her kids lives, even though I (used to wash their clothes), I sew up all their holey clothes, feed them, love and look after them. Anyways after last years birthdayS with SD2 and SD (then)5, I couldnt go and wish her happy birthday, yet all of BM's disgusting friends and family were there (who DH does not want around SD's),yet I spend more time in the week with both SKids then they do.SD has asked me before and after every birthday (for both her and her sister) will I be coming and afterwards why didnt I come, with big bambi eyes and it hurts that I have to lie to her that 'I'm busy' all because her mum can't grow up for one hour (if that!) Now (finally) DH has got my back and I didnt ask him to nor tell him to even approach the subject but BM must have come out with sum BS, he turned to her and said that I am coming to SD6's bday to wish her a happy bday as I am permantly in her life as her SM and if she kicks of then he won't go and she can explain to SD why her father isn't there. So BM just huffed and walked off, real mature. SO DH told me and it meant alot to me.
SD5 akses me to do alot of things like take her to school,do her hair, take her to shows and cinemas yet I dont because as a woman I can imagine these things would hurt her mum, even though I hate her, I have always shown her respect in that sense, but now I'm thinking that she needs to be the one leaning more.
So do I go for an hour to the hell hole that is BM's flat to wish my SD happy birthday with the rest of her family or just leave it alone? what happens with your skids birthdays?
also long story (messed up on
also long story (messed up on both parents parts) but neither child has lived with both BM and my DH under one roof. Since birth (2wks old) each child started the EOW visits to their dad and grandma's house.
After my husband and his
After my husband and his ex-wife split (SD21 was 5), she made his life miserable so he/we never attended any birthday celebration, we just celebrated when it was our weekend with SD.
Your husband can not force BM
Your husband can not force BM to allow you in her home. He has to decide if, he will attend without you or not.
We do not do joint parties.
BM keeps trying to do joint
BM keeps trying to do joint parties because she can't afford to do them on her own. One year she couldn't pay for the food and we were so embarrassed that everyone was sitting around starving that we ordered some pizza. After that we swore no more joint anything. Well that and she was doing her icy glare at me but putting her hands on FDH every chance she got even though he kept telling her to stop. He doesn't want to put me through that ever again and I love him more for that.