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When SS comes to stay I have no authority over even my own kids

svhansen88's picture

My SS8 has ADHD and can be quite demanding when he comes to stay. Also, as per his BMs strict instructions he isn't allowed to stay at ours. He has to stay at my MIL's with Husb.
Recently my BS4 goes and stays with them too as he misses his brother otherwise. I stay at home with the baby.

Its no ones fault which makes it difficult, but when SS comes to stay it's like I actually don't exist as a parent. Even my own children don't respect me when he's here because they know that Daddy and Gran make the rules. When I have tried to intervene I get shot down. Its like my MIL is the other parent because they are at her house.

I've just started to be more and more absent when he's here because it gets so hard. Or when I'm with them I just become really passive and its making me really depressed.

any one else felt like this? How did you deal with it? :?

svhansen88's picture

SSs dad is there BF too. Yeah I probably should but when i get involved we spend twice as long making simple decisions like where to go in the morning. Sad

svhansen88's picture

SSs dad is there BF too. Yeah I probably should but when i get involved we spend twice as long making simple decisions like where to go in the morning. Sad

sixteensmom's picture

Why do you and dh allow bm to dictate where your visits and overnights happen?
Who gives a rats ass about bms strict instructions.
That is not at all bms call.
Start right there and have the kid at YOUR house !

Rags's picture

Why would you tolerate this crap? I for sure would not. MIL has a choice. Comply with your parental wishes of STFU and don't see the kids. Any of the kids. Period! As for BM stipulating that visitation only occures in MILs home .... WTF is up with that shit? BM needs a firm boot up her ass too.

Not no but hell no. The fact that your DH does not know where is sack is and allows this crap just makes me want to puke. He, and you, both need to put your hand between your legs and grap a big ole handfull of sack and grow some balls. Both with XW/BM and with MIL. And you need to grow some balls with your DH. YOUR daughter does not go stay with your MIL unless you say she does. If DH wants to play that card he can take YOUR kids to see his mother on his visitation time after you divorce his spineless ass and take him for mountains of CS.

All IMHO of course.

Wow, your situation really pisses me off. I for sure would not tolerate it were I you.

Good luck.