How much will a court give a deadbeat biomom?
My husband and I thought we were about to settle with my stepson's biomom without going to court, but it's looking like she may not sign the papers after all...my husband wants full custody of their 6 yr old son. they were never married. I'm wondering if anyone has been in a situation like this and can give me any insight as to what we can expect, here are the basics:
-stepson has been living with us full time for 2 years, he is 6 years old
-we are sending him to a wonderful private school
-biomom hasn't contributed one CENT to anything over these last 2 years, she is usually (and currently) unemployed, deep in debt and has NO money
-biomom also has 2 DWIs from when my stepson was a baby, she also got pulled over for speeding with him in the car and was arrested for having no license.
-she has never been here to visit him (we live 7 hours apart). anytime she's spent with him over these last 2 years, which has been minimal, WE have provided his transportation.
-over the last 2-3 years she's been in 2 (possibly more) rehab programs for pills and alcohol and has never completed a program (she was actually kicked out of one)
-she tried to commit suicide (more like a cry for help) and was admitted into a hospital of some kind for a few days last year.
-I do believe that legally she has physical custody of him (he lived with her during his first 4 years of life - although her mom basically raised him)
-my husband and i have been married for 3 years and have no criminal records and are both employed and live in a nice house
Should we be at all nervous about taking biomom to court for full custody? He's been with us for 2 years, he's enrolled in school and thriving in our care. a judge would never take him out of this situation to go live with a mom like this, would they????
Just looking for anyone who's been through this, I know things vary from state to state, just looking for some insight....
thanks!!
no worries
You all sound like you have a great leg to stand on. The fact that she tried to commit suicide, is serious, you can loose a child over that alone. With your and DH's history being so clear, and you two are the only home your child knows, I would be looking forward to going to court for this. Good job, :)"~waiting on the world to change~"
thanks!
Thanks...I can't imagine she'd get much of anything but I know sometimes Mom's get more than they deserve just because they are MOM. It looks like she's going to sign the papers after all so we're keeping our fingers crossed (again!). I will be SO relieved when this is OVER!
I hope
She does sign, it would just be embarrassing for herself to go to court, and listen and re live all the mistakes she is making. I wish you luck that this will end soon, with out question or conflict.~ Leave out all the rest~
Go to court if she does not sign
you will for sure get custody. CS??? Probably not. But who cares at least you get SS to yourselves.
Be hopeful
It depends on the state but I know, i.e. NYS, you can request a drug and alcohol screening and mental health evaluation. All parties would have to take them, which you should have no problem, but if she were to refuse it will terminate her parental rights. But it sounds like you don't have anything to worry about.
same situation...
You're describing what we went through. Trust us you will not have any problems...keep a journal of everything, dates, times, locations, ppl involved of everything that goes on over at BM's when SD is with her. Just knowing her history the judge will never allow her to have custody if at all visitation rights w/o supervision. You'll be fine...good luck getting through it, that's the hardest and most stressful part.
I would say you should have
no problems at all. But my suggestion would be to take as much documentation that you can get on her.
Everything you can find, records of arrests and anything else.
AND good luck. Hopefully she will just sign and not have you waste time and money.
But if she doesn't..... take her to court and get what is just and proper for that little boy.
very similar circumstances
Your BM sounds just like ours. Same drug problems, doesnt work etc etc. She never wants her daughter except maybe family gatherings like christmas so she can get approval and cash for kid and keep it herself (tacky). We took her to court and she never showed. Problably cus she couldnt get her fat butt out of bed. So anyway we won. I dont think you will have a problem at all.
Same situation as us. You
Same situation as us. You should have no problem. But do as others have suggested document and copy everything. Including school records. We kept calendars of how often she would call or visit and that went a long way. Good luck!