I am SM to sd11, ss9, sd7 and ss6. DH and I married two months ago but are coming up on 2 years together. BM started--or fell off the wagon almost 6 years ago. There have been periods of soberness but they are far and few in between. She was constantly deciding she didn't want to be married and be a mom and leaving for a boyfriend or girlfriends house until one day she just disappeared. This was right before the final divorce hearing and DH was granted full custody of children due to BM's drug use and abandonment/neglect of children.The court ordered her to pay cs and attend parenting classes and granted zero parenting time (we live in Indiana and apparently parenting time is used in place of visitation) Since then--just shy of 2 years--she hasn't paid a penny of cs hasn't seen the kids and only calls when she is in AA and she's on the step to make amends and it normally turns into a pity party--she wants us to listen to her cry more then she wants to know how the kids are doing. We want to go to court so I can adopt the kids. Later in life if BM gets act together and is stable and the kids want to see her--we want to let them but we want it on our terms and we don't' want her to be able to drag the kids through a custody battle she is likely to lose. Does anyone know if we have to get her permission to have me adopt the kids or since it has been so long without cs or meaningful contact and she hasn't complied with any of the courts orders--can we go forth with the adoption without her? Also, does anyone know if the kids will be required to go to court for this? Any pros or cons to this adoption you can share?