I am a 43 year old mother of 2 and I have two adult step children. One is 25 and supports herself. The other is 20 and has never supported himself. He has a criminal rap sheet since he was a juvenile. He lived with my husband and me from the age of 5 until he was around 12. His mother was mostly absent. But, at the age of 12, he decided that he didn't like "rules" anymore and went to live with his mother. He stayed in trouble with the law. Did poorly in school. He was in and out of boarding schools. My husband, his father, would send him and he would be doing well, and then his mother would "bail" him out. She never even gave him a chance. She let him get a tattoo when he was 16 because he said it made him "strong" in other's eyes when he's in juvenile detention or jail. He hung out with a gang while living with his mother. Had several DUI's. Assault. Arrested for drugs. Misc other things. Both of his parents continued to bail him out and never let him take the fall for anything. Always had excuses for him. As he has gotten older, he praises his mother for her support (she lets him sponge off of her and do whatever he wants) and disrespects his father every chance he gets. Usually in very public Facebook statuses. Just today, I deleted him from my account and took him off my children's too. I don't need them reading his poison. My husband went behind my back a few years ago to pay for his college, even though we both agreed we would not since we had spent his college money bailing him out of criminal cases and paying for lawyers. My husband did it anyway and I found out by accident. Of course, his son flunked out and wasted our money. I found out that time that he had also bought his adult daughter furniture for her apartment without talking to me about it first. He did is secretly and without respect for my part in this. We had words about it, but then he turned around again at the holidays and purchased a lap top, again without telling me, for his adult daughter. All the while telling me that we are "short on money." Personally, I think both this adult child's mother and father have failed him. His son constantly attacks his character as a father, and then my husband will go out and buy him a plane ticket or a suit. I just don't get it. I demand respect from my own children, and I did of his two when they lived with me. I am so tired of fighting his battles and givig up MY money to spend on a child who doesn't have the wherewithal to get a job. He is now living with his 25 year old sister and sponging off of her because his mother moved about an hour north and he didn't want to go and not be with "his friends." He doesn't go to school. He doesn't do anything. He has a car and insurance his mother pays for. She gives him a credit card to use. My husband bought his suit, etc. But, every time I turn around, this kid has a cell phone, cell plan, concert outings, etc. I am just fed up. I am tired of living under his kids' shadows and quite frankly I've just had enough of it with my husband. My husband decided a few months back it would be a good idea to add his non-working, adult son to our gym membership - of course us paying the fee. I don't want to pay for this man's gym membership. Why should he have the luxury of the gym when he can't even get a job? I told my husband today I would not be paying his gym membership any longer and he asked me to wait. For what?! I told him no - I would not wait. I called the gym and they told me that I can't take him off becaue of the contract and that I'm bound to pay for this adult man to use the gym on MY DIME. While I go to work everyday. While my husband goes to work everyday. He is the most self-centered, snot-nosed, self-entitled, indignant brat I have ever known. I am not an angry person and he is just bringing out the devil in me. I can't take it anymore. My husband begs him to have a relationship and he spits on him each and every time. M husband will text or e-mail him and he ignores it. I told my husband to just stop and let him come back to him, but he won't or can't. I am also nervous because my husband is repeating the same patterns with our two children together. It's so scary.