You are here

Christmas Gifts

wingsoflife7's picture

Since the 11 plus years I have had 2 SS's I have always made sure that they have nice gifts at Christmas. The BM for the first year or 2 would buy gifts for the boys to give to myself and the DH. Then it stopped.

I tried to instill in the boys to do something at least for their dad even if it was a home made something or a booklet of coupons for things they would do for him. NOPE never a thing for either of us yet my Bio Daughters (4 of them) all get my husband their Sdaddy something all the time.

Last year the oldest SS got us each some silly cup which was trash but it was the thought that counted and I was glad he was getting the hint. The younger 21 year old SS still nothing. So my husband had mentioned a set of Binoculars and had even printed a copy of it out....so...I gave it to the oldest SS and said here you and your brother can work this out for your dad for Christmas. We shall see what happens. LOL I don't expect anything for myself but they should remember their dad.

Disneyfan's picture

I don't think gender has a thing to do with it. My son is 24. He will buy gifts for his dad, SM, my parents, sister, BIL, their 4 kids and I. He grew up doing this. When he was younger, I purchased the gifts and had him scribble his name on the gift tags. Once he was old enough to pick out the gifts, he picked them and I purchased them. Once he was old enough to use his own money for gifts (allowance, birthday money...), I would take him shopping and he picked/paid for the gifts. As soon as he was old enough to shop on his own, he did it all.

As an adult he continues to gives gifts(nice ones)to family members because it's something he grew up doing.

enuf's picture

I also do not think it is a gender thing. It depends how one is raised. My ss47 expects elaborate gifts and will tell his dd what he wants. Last year for xmas it was a vacation to Florida, which he got. Come father's day my ds and 3 gkids, my ss and I went out to a restaurant to celebrate. My ds showered my dh with gifts and a very sentimental card saying that he appreciated what my dh had done for him. My ss did not even get his df a card. When ss comes over for dinner the only thing he has only brought is a small soda for him to drink, how hard would it be to pay an extra dollar for a 2-liter? It is not a money issue as my dh has given him hundred of thousands of dollars so that ss could feel emotional secure about his finances. He is one selfish son of a gun.

So wingsoflife no matter how much you hint my guess is that ss's will give your dh nothing. In return you should give them nothing for the holidays and state that it seems like this is the tradition in their family and since you want to get along with them you will adhere to their traditions of non gift giving.

MineAndYours's picture

Enuf that is an excellent idea..and one that I plan to employ with both my BKs and SKs. I don't expect major presents..a card and a hug with a Merry Christmas is enough. Some sincerity. If I don't they will get the same. Thanks!

sandye21's picture

SD has rarely given DH or I a gift for Christmas but it's OK with me. The last gift she gave me 5 years ago was an old bottle of syrup and a minute jar of jam she ahd made. Instead of spending money on SD I buy myself something - a much better investment. LOL I agree with the other posters - DH should be the one to purchase presents for the skids. I have found from experience that they don't like it when they find out you bought the gifts for DH.