Didn't even tell me about the new baby.......
HI people - this is going to be a long one because I have to give context.
My 33 year old adult step son and his fiance just got a new baby and he didn't even sms me to tell me. I heard via my husband whose words were "in case you the last one to know....XXXX is born". This stepson is the biological child of my husband who found my husband 4 years ago - he wasn't raised by my husband.
When my husband and I were just dating - I found him already to be an unlikeable person - and that is a general consensus in business as well as socially. Self centred and money oriented.
I have no problems with my husband's other bio children.
Add to the problem - my husband lives (for the next 12 months) in his home country but will move down here in a year. This stepson lives virtually round the corner.
He has had issues with me from moment one and then he had a huge issue with his DAd. They sorted it out but my name was constantly brought up. I finally decided to be the bigger person and say to my husband - I'll let bygones be bygones - and we visited twice before my husband went back overseas.
IN the meantime I was invited to the babyshower (only 5 ppl showed up - because he was there) but me and my mom brought gifts.
Now the baby is born and I wanted to be part of its life - but if he doesn't have the decency to tell me - I didn't ackowledge the birth. My husband told me over Skype.
I know I am doing destructive behaviour but I brought my part and now I have been kicked in the teeth again. My husband will come home to live here in a year - but I don't want to be part of this man's (my stepson's) existence.
I am going to see my therapist on Monday so that this doesn't affect me and my husband's relationship - but I am worred that it will.
Pls - I need comments.
My hubby and I are only married for 3 months..............
F
You are not alone. I raised
You are not alone. I raised my stepsons and when the baby was born he did email his dad. SS lives only 45 minutes away. Despite us asking questions we received no answers. Husband did not relay the message to me that grand daughter was born. I asked him 3 weeks later if he had heard anything as I had not and he let me know about the email. THREE WEEKS LATER? So I emailed SS' wife to congratulate her and I got this very hateful email back basically accusing me a of lying. It then came out that she was upset that we had not been there. We had no date eventhough I had asked. I really feel they tried to turn this on us and tried to make us look like the igly ones in this situation when I REALLY WAS TRYING.
All in all in the end I had to let go and give up as SS just went nuts with all kinds of hateful comments and told us we'd never know his little girl as our grandchild. Husband and I both went into counseling. Counselor felt SS was wounded from his mother's abandonment when he was 2 and told us there was absolutely nothing we coudl do or say at this point, that we just ahd to let it go and realize he had to deal with his own issues in his own time.
I have not had anymore contact. Husband has tried contact and has received no response. Life goes on. He made his choice and now he has to live with his choices.