I need help
I have two adult stepdaughters ages 28 and 26. I have been married to their father for 17 years this week. For the most part, the girls and I have gotten on pretty well.They each have their own issues to deal with as well as myself. About 6 ago, the older one and her one year old moved in with us for 10 months. They had been living in Memphis. She and I had a huge argument which resulted in my slapping at her and her beating me so bad I had several bruises and spent 2 years getting over post traumatic stress syndrome. I
am now healed and she and I have begun to heal our relationship. The problem is her sister. She is getting married in April and wants her dad to be there. She told him that she would prefer I not be there. My husband doesn't want to go to her wedding (which is in Arkansas) without me. I'm torn. I don't want tp rain on her parade, but I would like to be there to share her day and spend some time with my two grandchildren. If anybody out there has been through anything similar, Id love to get some advise
its called
she has to remember that you have been there for 17 years.
My ex FIL did not come to our wedding because his GF. Because my ex's mom was going to be at the wedding and she told me it was either his mom or her and dad.. And I said well I am sorry but she is just as important dad. And that she and him were more then welcome. Guess what the GF told FIL that if he went to look for a new place to live. Now this woman was a major part in a 30 year marriage going down the tubes and my MIL was ok if they came together.. Why because she was adult enough to deal with it. Your SD needs to remember although its her day that if she wants her father to attend that you are part of his package. I mean we are all expected to take on the "package deal" with the SK but they are old enough now to remember there dad is a "package deal" as well.. You two are one.. And although I am not sure of all the surrounding circumstances with everything I am sure you are not the evil step mom..
I think you should leave it totally up to your husband. If he does not want to attend without you then let him make that decision. Let him know how you feel and if you are ok with him going without you then reassure him of this. But he is the one who has to decide..
Just my thoughts..
happy
Thanks for the support! I've
Thanks for the support! I've never done anything like this before and to find out that my feelings are "normal" just blew me away. The latest in my saga is that SD called her dad to say the day was changed and that they finally have a location - Mountain View, AK. He tells me that he'll talk to her one more time and see what happens. I can pretty much tell you what will happen - GUILT! Based on past history, I'm not exactly holding out for my knight in shining armour to come to my rescue. On the other hand, I don't need him to. I'm a 45 year old woman who can make her own decisions. Who is she to tell me what I can and can't do? I very much want to start healing wounds with my other SD. I also want to spend time with my two grandchildren and get to know them better. They are 4 and 7. Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Thanks agian.
matilday