This coming week end should prove to be interesting. DH's daughters and I have no contact. Their phone calls are made to him on his cell phone, for years he has been the one to drive the 3 hours to visit them for holidays or special occasions. During the last 7 years DH has had 2 grandchildren born that I have never seen, and 3 great grandchildren I have never seen.

I disengaged from all the step drama once I realized we were not the Brady family. During the first 7 years of marriage I was naïve enough to believe DH was serious about wanting his adult children to feel welcome as part of "our" extended family.

What I discovered was that after I spent the first few years providing the gifts, providing the family parties and raising some of the grandchildren I had become the "bad guy." The baggage DH and the adult children had brought into the marriage played out like the game of "musical chairs." If his girls were mad at each other they would be at our house trashing the one who was not present. If they were mad at their mother they would be trashing their mother and DH would be joining in.

At some point I became the one to be bashed. Dh and I split up for a while about 7 years into the marriage. It was at this point he informed me that I did not like his children, I judged them differently then my own , treated them differently and that they did not come to visit him because they did not like me. [ ok, I know when to step back and step out ] I disengaged and have since devoted my time ,energy and finances to my own family.---disengaged.

So here's what puzzles me. recently while I was out of state one of his daughter's actually did come to visit with her boyfriend and the twins they have together. They had a nice visit. Yesterday I answer my DH's cell phone. It was the boyfriend, he was polite, social enough to introduce himself and chit chat briefly before I handed DH the phone.

Seems he was checking out the possibility of coming to visit this next week end. I over hear DH saying they could go out on the fishing boat which is only large enough for 2 people. So what is DHs daughter who I have not spoken to in almost 8 years and the 2 children I have not ever met going to be doing? She is not coming to visit me. I am not the entertainment committee anymore.

What is going on here? Since we moved 7 years ago there has been no effort to on her part to ever visit. Now that we are in our 60's there is an interest in visiting our household.