Husband won't spend time with us
I've got 3 previous children and my husband has 2 previous children from his previous marriage. We're not expecting a baby together after being together for 3 years. My kids are aged 12,8 and 7 . His kids are 10 and 7. My husband is only home on his days at work. He'll come home and go straight to bed , no communication whats so ever. I've had a complicated pregnancy so far and have been admitted hospital few times . I'm heavily pregnant and cannot do the things I used to do. When I ask him to take the boys school for me which is 20 min drive je refuses and says he will miss gym. However twice a week he leaves early to take his kids to school ,their school is walking distance. There is no child arrangement in place so he goes to see his kids when he wants. It makes it difficult for me because I cannot plan any time with him at all and get rest. He ignores my emotional needs. When I ask if he can watch the kids so I can sleep he says he's going out to see his kids or his family. I don't have an issue him seeing his kids at all. But all I'm asking for is a balanced environment and for him to split his time fairly
Was he like this prior to
Was he like this prior to your pregnancy? Did he not engage with your kids then either? If so, I would have really questioned if I wanted a baby with a man who doesn't seem to care much about your family. If not, he may have some stress or resentment related to the pregnancy that he is avoiding. Have you tried talking to him about his behavior lately?
He showed more interest
He showed more interest before the pregnancy. The pregnancy wasn't planned but we decided to go ahead with it.
Sounds like you guys haven't
Sounds like you guys haven't really discussed a lot of important issues. He doesn't want to be responsible for your kids, clearly, which is understandable as a general rule, but you'd think he might help you out here and there given that you've had a difficult pregnancy. Sounds like you have to find someone else to help you. I hope he doesn't expect you to help with his kids.
In his eyes.. he is splitting
In his eyes.. he is splitting it fairly because you parent and care for your kids... he does the same for his own. Is there any history with your kids and him that might make him not want to spend time with them? Have you taken care of his for him in the past? any issues between you and his kids?
I don't know if it's that his time is limited... or whether he doesn't care for your bios.. but in the end, it's not his responsibility to drive your kids to school or take care of them.
Sure, it would be nice if he were to help you since you are having a difficult pregnancy.. which IS his doing.. but maybe he expects your EX (bio's other parent if he is in the picture) to take care of them if/when you cannot.
I guess you need to ask him why he won't help you when you are struggling.. he seems to easily go on with his desired life.. not caring that his partner is having a difficult time.
HOnestly... with 5 soon to be SIX kids between you.. keeping a relationship strong is going to be a struggle.. you both had a lot on your plate before this baby came into the picture.. maybe counseling to see if you can work on that relationship and willingness to help each other more?
I always wonder why people
I always wonder why people choose to have an "ours" baby when it means they will then have 5-6 or more kids between them. In my mind that would just complicate things even more. Don't mean to be judgy, just one of those choices I puzzle over.
Yeah... that is a LOT of kids
Yeah... that is a LOT of kids to juggle..my parents struggled with just two of us at times.. haha.
But... what may be more puzzling is that by what we see, there is some apparent disinterest by her DH in being part of her family.. he seems to want to do what he wants with his time.. taking care of his own needs.. like going to the gym etc.. and has a challenging work schedule.. and when you throw his kids into it... it really doesn't seem like HE has the bandwidth for another child.. and OP seems to be a bit overwhelmed with her three.. not sure who they thought would be up for raising a 6th... Though I do understand that not all babies are planned.. despite precautions.. it happens. And. religion or cultural norms could be at play... but 6 is a lot of kids.. and I almost think it was easier for my situation because I didn't have kids of my own.. and didn'thave that competing issue to deal with... and the conflict inflicted by an involved EX and my own bios against my DH's bios.
His kids used to come every
His kids used to come every weekend and stay with us and I'd take care of them. Is ex hasn't made it easy. How ever it reflected on his kids. I'd have a discussion with him because they didn't show him much respect. They never listened. He is quite a soft person and finds it hard to speak for himself at times. So when it comes to discipling his kids it's non existent you.
"doesn't seem like HE has the
"doesn't seem like HE has the bandwidth for another child"
It looks to me as if he doesn't have the bandwidth for a relationship let alone another child. What kind of a relationship is it when he comes home from work and goes straight to bed unless, of course, he has "better" things to do? Seems more like a room mate than a husband.
Sheesh, I missed that. He
Sheesh, I missed that. He doesn't even talk with her at all, just goes straight to bed?
Yes.. it does seem odd. It's
Yes.. it does seem odd. It's like he just sleeps there?