I don't know what to do anymore.

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I don't know what to do anymore with my daughter and husband ( step dad). My DD is 12 and going through the age of arguing, this isn't fair and so on. But I feel my husband let's it get to him to where he blows up. There are times when she talks back or argues the point and we punish her( early bedtime,take tablet and so on). But there are points where I feel my husband nitpicks over stupid stuff. Like last night we had a blow out. My daughter had a headache when my husband came home she had her head phones on, and he is like if you have a headache why do you have the headphones on and called her said that is retarded. I told him what does it matter it's her head not ours,and it wasn't like she was complaining about it. My DD gets offended and tells him people don't do the same thing if they have something wrong and on and on. The night before she came home 15 mins late so when that happens she goes to bed 30 mins early. She was like I fell and scrapped her knee. But she had already left her friends house late so falling made her later. Later that night my husband tell her early bedtime. She says OK. Then comes out of the kitchen saying it wasn't her fault she fell. But that was it my husband got all pissed. The thing is he was saying she wouldn't shut her month, but I was in my bedroom and could hear them. She never said nothing more. In the heat of the moment though no one can tell him anything. I told him she never said nothing maybe he was thinking from the last time she was arguing. There have been times where my husband was yelling a her all in her face and I feel that if I didn't come in-between them I feel he would of hit her. The reason I say this is because when we got married his 16 year old son would argue with him. I have seen many a times where he pushed him down a couple times, hit him once even punched his other son in then arm. I have told my husband I think he has anger issues but it is always my daughters fault. We have been married almost 6 years and have a 4 yr old DD. He has told me to take her and get lost and even threaten to take my 4 yr old away. He takes care of his family and would do anything for us but I feel his temper is going to be the end of us. I don't know what to do anymore.

Counseling if you can do it..

Counseling if you can do it.. for yourself and daughter if DH won't go. Sometimes kids will act up even if the attention they get is negative.. she's at a bad age for that and with a younger sis who is the "real" child to your DH and yourself, she may feel a little like a 2nd class citizen. Sibling rivalry can take all sorts of forms. She may also be mad at your DH for messing up her happy life with you.. and your DH may resent that she is "in the way" of his nice new family.

You are right, if she

You are right, if she seriously thinks that his yelling will turn physical she should be protecting her child. Yelling I'm on the fence.. in my mind, just raising your voice isn't abuse in itself.. but depending on how and what your are saying it might be. The fact that he got physical with his own kid is a problem. I still think that if they go to counseling he might have a chance at changing his destructive anger behavior.. but I wouldn't wait for it to hit a boiling point before I left if he wouldn't work on it.

DH needs to back the hell off

DH needs to back the hell off and let you handle your DD in the future. This is abusive and could get much worse. Truly i think you should leave and create a nice peaceful home for your 2 children - away from this brute.

He will escalate and you will be equally responsible if this happens. Talk to a woman's victim shelter counselor and they will guide you and inform you of your rights.

You don't know what to do?

You don't know what to do? Really?

Your daughter deserves to be and feel safe in her own home. You need to put this before your convenience/pleasure in having a partner and provide that for her.

I had an ex boyfriend who was

I had an ex boyfriend who was abusive to me..like broken eye bone, choking etc... when I finally got rid of him I was so thsnkful. It can be harder than you think when you own the home, and tge threatened to destroy everything you have.

So a month or so go by and I get a call from the new girlfriend. She wants to know what to do. Apparently the guy has been losing his cool with her toddler. The latest situation was the guy smashed the child's cherished dvd because the child accidentally messed up one of his shirts. All the while screaming with bulging veins. So my quandry, do I tell her he is an abusive ass and risk retaliation or wash my hands of it. As there was a child involved, I took the high road and told her the truth and advised her to get him gone and protect her kid. Not long after I saw hE was convicted of domestic violence. Don't take the risk with your children.

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