I plan on being positive, then THEY show up.
When the skids are at their BM, I make promises to myself that I'm not going to be irritated by their presence when they walk through the door but yet, here we are - the skids have been here for 2 hours and I'm ready to scream. SD, 5, had already irritated me by stomping up and down the hardwood stairs, zipping and unzipping her boots & shaking the chains/charms at the dinner table. When I look at her to stop, she smiled at me and continued. Finally DH days something but only because he saw me look, not because he notices her being obnoxious. SS, 7, eats dinner hold his utensil in his fist like an baboon, smacks his lips and slurps his food. He got all teary-eyed and started acting like he was going to be sick because he didn't want to finish the dinner that he had been shoveling down prior to his hysterics. DH let's him because, well, he believes the stupid tricks. I've have tried to nicely teach SS better table manners but he doesn't care and dad doesn't notice. It enough to make me lose my appetite!!!
I can spend 4 days trying to think of positives about those children, but they walk in the door and it all goes away in a flash.
I spent last weekend, when the both skids and bio kids were gone, cleaning the landing of the house where the kids dirty laundry goes, etc. I scrubbed the hardwood floors, dusted the woodwork & did all the laundry. SD, 5, announced loudly "finally, it's clean." Little twirp!!! The landing its upstairs where the kids bedrooms are, not mine.
Aghhhh!!!
I read this and thought, ahh
I read this and thought, ahh I'm not alone! I spend all week thinking about how the following weekend I'm going to be patient with bf's dd4 and how I'm going to try and enjoy the time she's at our house and literally after 1 day of her being with us, I'm over it.
Yup, my SS has been known to
Yup, my SS has been known to say things like "'bout time you did something around here." Pisses me off, his mom doesn't work yet I have a full time job, a part time job and my own home business on the side plus our 2 year old and DH has been temporarily disabled most of the year unable to lift or bear weight on his foot so it all is on me to do it. I've asked SS to pull some weight around the house, he's 9 he can help out some, even DH has told him to as well, but SS ignores it and sits in front of the TV, eats and feels entitled to be waited on (which I don't put up with or entertain). Heck, I asked him to watch his brother one day while I changed the light bulb in my truck while we were outside and I look up to see my 2 year old running down the driveway and when I asked SS why he wasn't watching him, he goes I was watching him run. SMDH. Wasn't like I was far away and leaving the children unattended.
And yes, DH tells SS that isn't nice and we don't talk that way - he's been grounded for it at times too, he's been made to apologize, but nothing seems to make a difference and usually some kind of comment is made along those lines each visit.
I feel your pain. I try to
I feel your pain. I try to put myself in sd8 shoes,think of ways to be thoughtful,but within minutes of seeing her pouty face I am back to wanting to avoid her. She is an overindulged bratty feral skid. Bs10 is not perfect by any means,but he has good manners and makes my heart smile. This is part biological and part behavioral. No one likes bratty kids. My sanity savers are to be busy around the house when sd8 is here,and have appointments to go to as well. I limit my exposure to the ridiculousness. Dh wants me to be more involved,but I learned my lesson when they both treated me crappy when I was more involved.
Dh has to bear the burden of the brat that he and bm created. I won't undo their masterful work.
Oh Lord, I am sooooooo glad I
Oh Lord, I am sooooooo glad I found this site! I feel like I am among my people! FINALLY I can vent and have people get it!
I COMPLETELY understand what you are saying about your skids! I am always trying to be positive and gear up for them, but when the day comes, I always find myself irritated and trying to think of things to get me out of the house.
My bio kids }:) are teens and college age, my SD7, and my SS9. We have been together four years, and it just doesn't seem to get easier. Our parenting styles are totally different. The only thing DH and I fight about are the skids and BM. It's such a bummer. I am over the moon about my DH, but these kids will be the death of me!
Arg i hear you!! If it wasnt
Arg i hear you!! If it wasnt for the dramas created by BM my relationship would be perfect!!
That's the problem, right
That's the problem, right there winebighappyfamily! I love dh. I wouldn't be putting up with this crap if it wasn't for him. Yet, loving him had put me into this quagmire. What a mess. I'm glad I'm not alone though. Wish there were actual , physical support groups I could attend - like AA.