Hey all,

I posted in january of this year, "Does anybody else, feel like they have made a mistake' If you read it ( I am not expecting anyone to remember) all the crap that I was going through with my husband, his kids, exes and Mother in law.

As predicted, I literally cannot take anymore. Stepdaughter 11 is becoming more jealous and sinister and SS 8 the same. DH has a kid that lives in another country , who's Bm is slowly poisoning against me and I I cannot deal with the situation anymore. It's dragging me down so much that's I am loosing myself. We have only been married for a few months and this is just not fun. Surely, there has got to be more to life then feeling like you have to compete with spoilt skids and two BMs. Thy sounds pathetic, but thy is how I feel. I am exhausted. Completely shattered from all of this. Although the I love my DH dearly, I feel like love is not worth all of this hassle. I am t the age where I would like to have another child, but I cannot add a newborn baby into the mix of such a complicated and crazy situation. That makes me so angry . I am so happy for friends and relatives that fall pregnant, but a part of me inside is deeply saddened also. I do not want to start to become bitter. I don't think that I mentioned this in a previous post, but I had an abortion a few years back and I cannot get over the way my DH treated me. He was so cold and was adamant that he did not want the child, as he feared that he would be making another mistake and that it was the road to ruin. What makes me so angry is that the child that he has with the woman who lives abroad was planned and he tells me that he didn't even want to be with her and he wasn't sure he wanted another kid, but she kept hounding him until he gave in and they didn't even live together. Yet we were living together and engaged. It makes me so sad and I am still heartbroken after it all and apparently I am the one he truely loves. It doesn't make sense. I feel like he gave in to the two previous BMs every request and now with me he has put his foot down. Not it's all about him.
Am I being selfish?
I feel like I have been naievely sleep walking and now I have just woken up.

I get so down, knowing that I stupidity married a man , who's situation was not right for me. I feel like a complete idiot. I need to get out. I know I do. I just don't know how. I have no money and I lost my job . Please advise