This is going to get long so for those that hang on, thank you!
I have 2 SS that live in our home, along with my 5 kids. My oldest SS just turned 12 and has been a problem from the get go. To sum up just a few of his problems, he still wets the bed (which he does not get punished for) but forgets to throw his pull up away (which he does get into trouble for) and I will find them stuffed into drawers, closets, under his mattress, etc. He also steals food (why I do not know, all he has to do is ask since I run a daycare and buy what I need for a week at a time) and will go to great lengths to hide it by putting it under his pillow/mattress, under the bathroom sink, and has even started to flush things down the toilet. He's been caught stealing his BM's phone and staying up all hours of the night looking at porn and skyping girls, telling them to take off their clothes. This is just a few.

I don't get along with him at all, but I do look after him. I watch his grades, take him to the doctor, fill his meds, talk to his teachers, etc. His BM and BD do none of this. But when it comes to his discipline, I have no say whatsoever. I'm good enough for everything else, but apparently, not that.

My other issue is this~ My oldest is my daughter, 15 years old, and I have to clear EVERYTHING with him before I let her do anything, and if I don't, I get treated very badly, and I'm made to apologize for not talking it over with him. I don't understand why he feels its necessary to have such control. From what she wears to her boyfriends. She passed her drivers test today (look out everyone haha) but I was told she is not allowed to drive except for to school or the store, that's it. I didn't back him up, he got angry, and told her "well I guess you get your f%$king way like you always do" and now won't speak to me until I apologize and agree with him. I told him if you didn't think she was ready, why didn't you say something before she took her test??

Please, someone help me, I don't know what to do at this point!!