Boy do I know how you feel. My SS7 has tons of behavioral issues both at school and at home. He is agressive, manipulative, and never shows any remorse over anything he has done. He is in trouble every day at school and has already been sent to the principal's office more than once. He is only in 1st grade. He has no friends because of the way he treats people and has our home in constant chaos.(he lives with us full time)We have been to psychiatrists,and are trying out medication but so far nothing has helped. We even put him in an Intensive outpatient program for several months but it did nothing. I am convinced that he is a sociopath.He does not seem to think that rules apply to him and doesnt care who he hurts. It may sound stupid to some but he just gives me the creeps. I think he is going to grow up and be one of those kids who shoots up his school. He is picked on and a loner because he has been so mean to the other kids. I think one night I may wake up and see him standing over me with a knife. I also worry about him hurting my BS11 when he gets older. Oh, he has also said that he hears voices telling him to do bad things. SCARY. He is mentally ill and we are trying so hard to get him help but everything has failed. I think one day he may need to be put away or he will hurt himself or someone else.
Does your husband agree that she has a problem? If not he better wake up because this won't get better on it's own. If you are that fearful for your safety there is definitely a problem. I say go with your instinct.Some may think its crazy to fear a child but we have all seen what children can do. I would start looking for a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis. Her father needs to know that this is a serious thing that could possibly get worse if she doesnt get help.

Sounds like both of you have horrible environments. I don't have any advice, but I feel terrible for both of you.

My ex gf's kids were not as bad as that but I do beleive they had behavioral issues.

There are several possibilities (and you need to get them to a medical/psychologist for evaluation);

It could be:

Oppositional Defiance Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Mood Disorder
Explosive Disorder
Bi Polar Manic Depressive
Personality Disorder
Conduct Disorder

The key I saw and read was to get treatment early. Treatment might not be medication, but it could be parenting classes (for you and DH); Anger Management or Anxiety Counseling for SK.

No, they usually don't grow out of it. They might grow out of temper tantrums when they are 2 or 3 but not 13.

The end result of my ex gf's kids behavior was that I moved out and ended the relationship. Yes, kids can be that bad. The parents have to stick together, and if the two adults don't stick together then pfffbbbbbbbbbttttttttt...

Kevin

My SD is 15 and it sounds like they could be the same children. DH and I have been married 5 years and together for 6 so I've known this child since she was 10 (she'll be 16 in 3 weeks) If you look at my other posts, you will see some of the evolution of my MonsterSD. When I first met her, something rubbed me the wrong way about her but I just thought it would go away. Everyone that came in contact with her knew she was precocious but her family thought it was adorable. Others felt repulsed by her - sitting in on adult conversations, trying to contribute to adult conversations, lying to fit in to adult conversations etc. She started having trouble getting along with other kids in school then started faking sick to get out of going (I blame BOTH of her parents for enabling her, no consequences for any of her actions) so her BM's answer was to transfer her to another school. It took about 6 months at the new school before the new kids tired of her and her crazy antics started up, now she would hook school (just walk out the door of middle school) along with lying, episodes of violence, stealing, running away and everything else. She's hateful, I don't know what else to say.

The first week of school this year she snuck out of her mother's house and got into a car with two other underage drivers and was in a horrendous car accident where SD and one of the others was flown to Shock Trauma, the driver fled the scene. AFter the accident, BM though this would be a life altering experience and that she would change her ways. Not a chance. She skipped so much school that now she's in the Credit Recovery Program at the highschool where she's close to being expelled but since she's underage it's against the law so she has to complete this program until the end of January. If approved, she can join the school population again, if denied, there's not a school in the state that will accept her until September 2008.

In mid-November she was dumped on our doorstep because she had physically assaulted her BM. It drove me f****g crazy that DH wouldn't say a word to me about what was going on (we hadn't seen nor heard from her since April 2007) and when I asked he said, "I don't know." BUT he did know because he stood on our doorstep with BM for 20 minutes getting the scoop and then he came inside and discussed the scoop with SD for another 20 minutes. When he finally told me that she had assaulted her mother, I was scared to death. I, exactly like you, had visions of waking up and having her stand over me with a knife in her hand. I was petrified of locking my door because I have 3 BS's that would be locked out and I was equally afraid for them. When I told DH my fears, he said, "You know what I told BM? I told her that if SD pulls that shit here, I'm calling the police." HAH - he had to be f*****G kidding me!!!!! So he was going to give her the opportunity to hurt, threaten, or kill someone else in OUR house FIRST and THEN he would react? Is this my life????? Because this is NOT what I signed up for!

DH doesn't think she would hurt one of us. Newsflash...it only takes one time and why would you even put the 5 other people in this house in jeopardy? Does this show he doesn't care or is there nothing between his ears or what because this logic dumbfounds me.

I told my BS in private, don't engage her in conversation, don't listen to what she says, don't believe a word she says and above all else DO NOT go into school and tell ANYONE that you know her OR of her. I don't want her to have an iota of influence in their lives.

I have never been so close to filing for divorce as I have been this month. Second marriages only have a 35% chance of making it, ours certainly isn't that stellar to survive this.

"Bitter? Table for ONE..."