Soon to be SD is extremely disrespectful.
SD has an issue minding her own business. Any conversation I have with her mother or sister she inserts her opinion. She never says excuse me when her mother an I talk. If she has a question for her mom, she interrupts and asks the question.
Before she asks her mother anything, she is she says, and "mommy...."
The kid is 14.
She behaves like a parent to her little sister. Whenever I call her out on her behavior she says that she was just joking around.
At dinner a few days ago, she started an argument, then held up a loser gesture over her forehead directed at me when I challenged her. I went off on her and she said that she didn't know what that gesture means-it's from a video game. Then her mother started crying because she claims "her daughter and I don't get along"
Mom left the table and I explained to the demon that I'm not going anywhere and thanked her for making her mother cry. Then I told her to apologize. Which she did.
Mom thinks the demon is the smartest thing in earth. That she will go to Harvard. She can do no wrong. The little sister is ignored. Always compared to the older sister who happens to look like her father - sadly.
Sometimes I actually feel my heart rate increase when the eldest kid is around.
What can I do?
Soon to be? Wait until they
Soon to be? Wait until they have moved out before making a commitment. If mommy dearest cries because you called SD on her disrespectful behavior, it won't get any better. Either one of them. Pull any funds off the table and see is that's what they are after, your money.
Doesn't it bother you that your fiance ignores her youngest
Doesn't it bother you that your fiance ignores her youngest daughter and favors her eldest?
Keep hammering the toxic spawn into her place.
And, do not let your bride pull the sad crying mother bullshit. Point out to her that her spawn is the product of her failed parenting and keep pointing out how mommy favors the toxic elder spawn and ignores the younger one who is of far superior quality of character than the elder one. FDW needs to know that you are on to the 14yo's toxic bullshit and will tolerate zero crap. Even if mommy chooses to maintain her self delustion.
Please do not pollute your own gene pool with this failed mother.
I see from your previous
I see from your previous thread posted last November that you earn 3 x what she does, and also that she thinks men should support kids, even if not their own? Given this, and the dreadful dynamics between you, her and her daughter - (which are unlikely to change), I'm surprised you're still with her, to be honest, let alone anticipating marriage.