Maybe I should take him on a day trip and show him all the exciting and wacky places my ex and I enjoyed "private time" together. I bet THAT would be a fun, fun day for him! About as fun as last weekend was for me!

Honestly, I don't think he's doing it to try to make me mad. He really seems to just be doing it without thinking.

Maybe I will start doing the same thing to him. I'll plan our next trip, and see how he likes going somewhere my ex and I went at some point in the past, preferably with our kids. (Of course, DH won't know that before we actually get there.) Then I can go on and on with a wistful smile on my face about how niiiiice that trip was and how much fuuuunnnn we had..."Oh, what wonderful memories!"

See if HE feels like puking...I bet he will! He'd probably chug his drink and stomp off, too!

Mmmm hmmm! Boy I sure was feeling lovey-dovey after THAT little moment down by the pool!

It's harder for us because we don't have the time or money to travel very far from home, so we're pretty limited as to where we can go. But still, there are a lot of neat places in NC. I'm having a hard time finding anything that he wants to do, and then when I do mention a place, I often hear, "Oh YES! BM and I took the boys there one time. It's awesome!"

Uh, yeah. Check that one off the list, then.

I have a similar problem. I grew up in a small town, and my most significant ex (not my ex-husband) grew up there, too, and still lives there. I have a LOT of memories with that ex associated with my hometown, and I make it a point NOT to talk about them or take DH to any of the places that bring back memories of the times I spent there with my ex. I had much stronger feelings for that ex than I do about my ex-husband, and I know first-hand that DH wouldn't want to hear me sit around reminiscing about all the good times he and I had together where I grew up.

To me, it's just a no-brainer that you don't take your current spouse to places that hold all those memories. Yeah, it might be fun for you in a way (helps you remember fun times you had in the past), but it's awkward as hell for your current squeeze. I'd never do that.

Why he insists on constantly taking me to places that he and his ex went to, I don't know. I thought I'd made it pretty clear in the past that I have NO desire to relive his memories with him, and I have NO desire to go to any places where he and BM went in the past. And yet - AND YET! - he did it again this past weekend!

I'd have enjoyed my Mother's Day weekend so much more if he'd just gone by himself and left me at home alone. It's bad when you spend a very rare child-free weekend thinking over and over to yourself, "Just a few more hours. You can do this. You can survive it. Don't worry, you'll get to go back to work Monday morning and all this will be behind you."

Wow. What a vacation, huh? :sick:

I truly don't think he did it to be mean or anything. He just didn't think it through. He never does. This has happened repeatedly, and every time he looks at me all baffled and upset, like "Why are you so mad at me?"

He even texted me a little while ago to ask me if I'm still mad at him. Well, yeah! You ruined my weekend with your little waltz down memory lane with me as your uninvited and unwilling guest, so yes I AM still upset!

It would be so nice to experience something new with him. Once, he took me to a bed & breakfast that they'd never been to before, but other than that, everywhere he's ever taken me was somewhere where he had lots of memories with BM. He mainly goes on about his memories there with his kids, and some of the things they did and said there, which in a way is just as bad. It makes me feel even more like just a substitute, a stand-in since the kids' real mom isn't available to go on these trips anymore.

His parents and extended family go off on a trip to the mountains to a big cabin every year on Labor Day weekend. I HATE that weekend now because I know I'll have to hear some random story on the way up there about something that happened with BM on one of the weekends she went up there with him, and how much she just loooooved going up there. GOD that makes my blood boil. Again, I'm just a stand-in for that bitch. Thanks a lot, DH.

It's just disgusting that I'm thrilled to be back at work and away from that place at the beach now. I will NEVER go back there. EVER. No matter how nice it is or how much he enjoys going there. Sorry, it's just too much.

"He'd tell a story about how "WE" did this, WE went there, WE traveled to x."

Oh, that drives me CRAZY! My DH does that a lot. Not as much as he used to because I told him it really bugged me, but he still does it more than I'd like.

He does it without thinking, and I really don't think he means anything by it. He often just starts talking without realizing how it sounds when he says it. "WE used to go there every summer. WE loved that place." Well, good for YOU BOTH. I know you're not talking about me, but thank you so much for letting me sit here and listen to your story about how WE (not YOU and ME but YOU and BM) looooved this place so much that you went there every year. Shut up already!

DH used to make a lot more money than he does now and could afford some crazy expensive vacations for himself, BM, and the skids. I've struggled all my life - paying my own way through college, then being a single mom (not really by choice, either) - and I've never been in a position financially to take expensive vacations anywhere. I guess I could have if I wanted to rack up a bunch of credit card debt, but I'm too responsible to do anything like that, so I just did without. I kept all my bills paid and took care of myself and my kids, but there never was much left over. A trip to the beach with my kids and my mom was about all I could afford, and a lot of years I couldn't even afford that.

So yeah, it's nice to hear yet again, DH, about the cruises WE went on. Oops! Not me! You're talking about you and BM again! YAY! I've always wanted to go on a cruise, but hey! Hearing about how much fun you and BM had on your multiple cruises all over the globe is just as good! Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!

It's disgusting.

Finally I just started commenting on his stories with something along the lines of "WOW that must be REALLY AWESOME but I wouldn't know, so thanks for letting me hear in detail how much freaking FUN it was to blow thousands of dollars on yourself and the skank you married the first time around. SWEET!" :sick:

I feel like the clean-up crew...I came along after all the fun, and now I get to be thrifty and clip coupons and pinch pennies with a man who had tons of cash to blow on his ex but not me. I try not to bitch about it too much, but when he starts trotting down memory lane about some cruise or some other fancy trip, I do get a bit snippy about it.

I've always wanted to go to Vegas. Ever since I was a kid and saw pictures of the place, I've wanted to go there. I've never been able to afford it.

So guess where DH took BM several times? Yep, Vegas! You should hear him go on and on about it. It makes me SICK.

I still want to go, but I don't want DH to take me there. Somehow I feel like it just wouldn't be the same. I'd rather go by myself.

If I go with DH, I KNOW I'll have to hear, "Oh, BM and I stayed here once," or "BM really loved this place. We should go there! I haven't been in a while, so it'd be nice to see it again!"

God, screw that. I'd just rather not go than to have to listen to stuff like that the entire time.