I’m So Tired
Right now I am just staying completely away from my husband. I’m crying a lot. Because I know he will choose his daughters over me. Daughters that have physically abused him, that say they hate him and that he was a terrible father. Daughters that are both on welfare, that lie and are just plain mean. Both are continually in disputes with everyone around them. I want to love my husband but he pulls away. Sometimes I think that his daughters are emotionally unavailable because their dad is just the same. I’m an Empath, which is not at all a good thing in a situation like this because it hurts me tremendously. It’s to the point where I just cry all the time because I want everyone to feel loved and happy and at peace. I am one of those pathetic types that thinks love can change the world. I am learning that it can’t. I have a lot of love to give and it as been thrown back in my face and stomped on. Then I get ridiculed for being “too sensitive “. I also battle depression which is hitting me pretty hard right now. Not sure what is coming first, the chicken or the egg? Is this situation making me depressed or is the depression making me more sensitive about this whole issue?
I was born into a family with an angry, violent alcoholic father. My mom left and married the most wonderful man. My step dad raised me and loves me like his biological daughter. I love him and my (step) sister more than I could possibly say. I love them as much as my biological mom (she died in 2011) and my biological brother. The love is the same. When I entered this relationship with my husband I was foolish enough to assume that we would have that same love. Instead it’s chaos and anger and hatred. My SD’s hate me. I tried to love them but look how that turned out.
I’m pretty tired. I have been a little suicidal the last few weeks. I have never had anyone hate me. And to top it off, my husband takes their side. I would leave if I could but because of financial reasons I am stuck.
National Suicide Prevention
National Suicide Prevention Hotline Call 1-800-273-8255
Please call when you are feeling the least bit suicidal.
Have you considered therapy for yourself? A counselor may be able to
help you sort out your feelings and give you ideas on how to cope.
If you really want to leave, start planning now. Get a second job, figure out ways to save. Start a secret bank account at a different bank than the one you normally use and start saving towards being able to leave. Don't let finances keep you in a bad situation.
Please go to a Victim
Please go to a Victim Advocate (you can contact Human Services to find them); they will get you help with a counselor, usually with no cost, if you can't afford it.
Stay here and we are here for you!
((((hugs))))
Please stay in touch.
Hon, why would you want to
Hon, why would you want to end life, that's what those bitches want, no no no, your duty on mother earth is not completed yet, so do not even think about it lady.
This is what you can do to get your groove back, Look long and hard in a mirror, she the wonderful woman that's hiding in your eyes somewhere, she will wave at you and ask to be brought out again, she will give you strength to leave this stupid man, you are still young enough to start over with a man that will love and respect you for you, who will put you first in his life.
Love alone can not safe a marriage, you need more then that, mutual respect, friendship, communication... that makes a good partnership and I'm sorry to say but your husband does not even have self respect, how will he have respect for other people ? Yes he has no self respect cause he allows his children to walk all over him and treat him like crap.
You have so many people loving you in your own family, simply end this madness and walk out, you did not fail, but you will fail if you do not walk away, you will fail that wonderful woman hiding within you, you will fail your loving SF who raised you to be a good person, you will fail your whole family who loves you if you decide to stay in this marriage, thus pack your stuff and simply leave, walk out as a winner,
Just look in the mirror when you wake up this morning Hon and find that wonderful woman within
I'm an empath too, and it's
I'm an empath too, and it's SO unbelievably hard for people like us in these twisted step situations. I too am constantly accused of being "too sensitive." Like that's a bad thing!
PLEASE get a counselor to help with your depression, that's the first step. One day, one hour at a time. You WILL come out the other side and be stronger for it. Then you'll be able to harness your gift of empathy and use it for good.
(((HUGS))) to you, and please know that we all have your back here. We may be names on a computer screen, but we're real people behind that and WE GET IT. We do.
most of us here on st have
most of us here on st have experienced what you are going through. you are mourning the death of the dream your had of a nice marriage with your dh and having to cope with the reality that it is.
marrying a man with children can be heaven or h%ll depending on several factors like how guilty the father feels or how enmeshed he is with his children.
your problem is very pressing now that your dh is being abused.
get him help by contacting social services in your area. your dh is too weak and beatened down to advocate for himself. do this for him and your marriage. while you are doing this get counseling for yourself.
you are not alone in this and others have been in your place.