When DH and I had been together for a few months, (I had not yet moved in with him) NPD BM asked him if he would like to go on holiday with her and the SDs.  I told him that if he was even considering it, we had a big problem.  A month or two after that incident, she told him she had reported him to social services for child abuse.  I advised him to ring SS and find out what was going on.  When he did, they had never heard of NPD BM or her children.  

Our BM is crazy and obsessed with my DH.  The day before our wedding, DH went to the SDs school to pick them up.  BM was there getting her other kids.  She reached into my DH's pocket and grabbed him.  DH yelled at her to never touch him again.

She has also sent my husband several love letters, including one with a mix tape.  She constantly tries to talk to him. She has also let ot slip that she is stalking our social media.

My DH just ignores her.  He refuses to talk to her unless he is forced too.  He also refuses to do custody swaps (on the very few occassions that BM actually sees SD) anywhere but the police station and he takes someone with him.

The list is long.  Probably the most pathetic was when my SS's SpermIdiot would get all morose and grill the Skid about .... "Does your mom still love me?"  When SS was young this was very confusing to him because he lived as part of a loving family where his mom and "Daddy"  lived together and loved each other and loved SS very much where "Daddy (Biodad's first name)" was not part of SS's daily family equation.

As SS got older (mid to late teens) he would laugh and tell BioDad no, that his mom and dad were very much in love and to knock it off.  Occasionally SS would throw in a review of the SpermIdiots cheating on my DW, his parade of SO's and other crap that made the SpermIdiot far from partner material for SS's mother.

Periodically SpermIdiot would call my wife to ask if "you guys are all right?" Then would start whining about missing his family.  My wife would just laugh at him and ask him if he wanted to talk to the Skid.  Usually the SpermIdiot would hang up when DW started laughing.

The pathetic just got worse from there.

Shortly after DH and I got engaged, BM sent an email to her family and DH's family saying that SS told her that I wanted DH to move next door to her so DH could stop paying child support - she lives nearly 50 miles from my job in a town I would never choose to live in. 
 

She later told DH that I could very well be a child abuser - this was after DH and I had been married for over a year and after she admitted that both SSs like coming to our home.

She is obsessed with the idea that DH hates her. That is her response to everything. DH sent her a message saying, "we should have a united front and both tell SSs that we expect them to behave the school and do their homework." Her response, "you're only saying that because you hate me!!" Shortly after that, she texted DH for three hours straight with some variation of "you just hate me!" "why do you hate me?!" Recently, she told DH's family and her family that SS told her that when he is at our home, DH and I are constantly telling him how much we hate her. 
 

She also regularly tells people that I'm just jealous of her. During the last mediation she accused me of taking SSs phones away because I was jealous that they were talking to her. Her lawyer's letter said, "It is unacceptable for a stepmother's jealousy to keep a mother from communicating with her children."

If I were DH I would reply to the  you hate me  flood of text message with "I do not hate you. But if I did it might partially be this type of flood of bullshit text messages.  Go back and read this text message thread and you may get an idea of why you are so worried about people hating you.  This discussion is now over. Buh-bye."

Our BM is a real piece of work.  She has 4 kids by 4 different daddys. they range in ages from 18 - 9 my SS is the youngest.She is bipolar and an addict. She can't hold down a job would rather sleep in all day then actually work. Don't know what my DH was thinking when he met her, obviously wasn't using good judgement.  Her and I have had issues since day 1. DH and BM had not been together for 2 years when I met him but in her dilusional mind I was the reason that he ditched her. She has told me lies about DH trying to break us up but we have gotten over that. The final straw for me was last year before she moved she said that she had to go to work and SS was getting out of school at 1, DH was working so I left work early and went and got SS. When we stopped by the BGM house to pick up his tablet I saw BM peeking out of her curtains (lived next door to BGM). I lost it ! I had to use my personal time that I work hard for becasue she was to freaking lazy to walk 5 blocks to pick up SS from school. 

Have never spoke to my husband ex apart from the one time 24 years ago when i after i met him i said i would like to meet his kids he told her and her reply was my children are not having anything to do with her or her bastard (my child) 3 years old needless to say now i know why her kids turned out the way they did nasty like her *diablo*

One time..... my Skids BM called the cops on me for harrassment when a text arguement didn't go her way. I asked her to stop bad mouthing me to the kids, it hurts them and it damaging to our relationship. She basically called the kids liars, and I said she was the liar. She threatened to call the cops for harrassment, I told her she was full of shit and to lose my number I'd never be speaking to her again. An hour later the cops calle me and asked me not to contact her again....WTF?

BM cheated on my DH in their marraige with a firefighter for TWO years. Divorce started and they broke up - apparently he wasn't into serious relationships. Fast forward a year and a half by then this was 8 months into us dating...BM and Firefighter drive up to drop the kids off from visitation... talk about a punch in the gut for my DH. 

BM and Firefighter have been married a few years now and have split up 3 times for him cheating on her twice and her craziness. I can't make this up. 

There's more but it's water under the bridge at this point. 

SO barely new BM when she became pregnant,  they had been seeing each other for 6 mo. When she did he tried to do the right thing. But when she became pregnant again, the situation was so dysfunctional he couldn't bare to stay. He eventually got custody of the girls after years of court battles and a lot of drama and she has been inconsistent in thier lives and only seems to come around if she feels she is losing control. 

She hates me because when we started dating I put my foot down about her calling him for help all the time. He was always cleaning up her irresponsible messes and then would justify it by saying it's for his girls. I normally wouldn't care but it was constant he was being used and completely taken advantage of . 1. I told him if he keeps enabling her she will never learn how to be a grown up. 2. She has a boyfriend who she has her 6th child with, let Mr. wonderful do something.  3. Anytime he would call her and ask for her to help with the girls because he had to work or something she would always no. 

You cannot have a conversation with her about anything.  She immediately turns it into and argument and goes off on wild tangents that are way off point. An example is recently,  he text her to tell her that he didnt want her BF taking SD phone, SD is afraid of him because he has hit her, her sister and her mother in the past. That's stopped after SO confronted him.  BM then responded with raging texts telling him to focus on me. Stating I lock up all the food in my bedroom and starve the girls, the youngest isnt allowed to sleep in a bedroom.  I scream in thier faces all day and she continued that she had proof of all of this. The funniest part about her statements is that's the reality at her house and she was projecting it on me. She doesnt lock up the food, but they cant eat the food in her house only what she gives them. 

Oh gosh, I don't even know where to start. 

#1. DH told BM he was dating me. They had been divorced 3 years. She shows up at my BF apartment while I was there because she "knew what car I drove." Banged on the door for the "homewrecking bitch to come out" because she was "going to kill me." Oh yeah, she did this in front of her 5 year old. 

#2. Filed a restraining order on her CHILD'S behalf claiming emotional abuse by ME. That I damaged SD self esteem and told her she wasn't as pretty as me. Clown never showed up to court and it was dropped. 

#3. Told SD "your dad used to beat me" and that's why they got divorced. Lies. She cheated and he filed for divorce. Not the other way around. Now of course SD10 always sides and believes BM. 

#4. BM told SD that no one here loves her because her "real family" *cough Mom's side* lives 10 hours away. 

#5. She is a nurse and works nights. Currently single. Leaves child home alone at night. DH offers to have SD sleep here when she is working so she isn't home alone. SD says "it's not fair I'm FORCED to spend more time here JUST because my Mom works hard. I should be there on her week no matter what."

Those are the only ones I can think of right now. But there are MANY.

Well where do I begin! 

#1 When DH and I first got together, she said the kids couldn't travel in my car because I 'Wasn't family'' We ignored this, obviously.  Worst bit was this came through SS, then 5, to tell us and he was nearly crying doing so  being put in that position. They went back and she obviously asked them if they'd been in my car, which they said yes. She stopped contact for that weekend. I'm a cop with an advanced driving ticket and a better driver than most btw, I have to be tested every year, there was never any fear of me being unsafe. It was just because she told the kids I wasn't family. We got around it because both SS had been on a school trip (coach driver - not family) and other SS had been dropped off by a friends dad. 

#2 Asked SS9 to send a picture to her of me because she wanted to see me without makeup on 

#3 My name was hyphenated. Think Smith-Di Silva. She told the kids it should be Smith-Dickhead 

#4 Told the kids I wasn't a real cop 

#5 Obsessed with Disney. Like OBSESSED.  Goes on her own to Disney World without the kids , we have them for 3 weeks straight, and she still expected child maintenance payments. Basically taking money from the kids so she could have spending money. 

#6 Has never worked a day in her life. Like, ever, even before kids. (Oldest is now 13). I'm kitting up ready for work and SS9 asks me why I go to work, i say to get money, he says 'But mummy doesn't have a job and she has money' Had a hole through my tongue on that one! 

#7 Monkeygate.  SS and I have a toy monkey that we play with, I do his voice, go on adventures,  I put monkey in different places at night for him to wake up to, etc etc. He took it home. One time he facetimed me and he bought monkey to screen, I did the voice, i hadn't realised BM was just off camera in the same room do heard this.

When DH picked him up he reminded him to bring monkey. He said he couldn't because mummy told him he wasn't allowed. BM then comes to the door and says no he can't take it, its mine. It was a brand new monkey which we had had at our house for 3 years. 

#7 SS had just started school. The teachers had asked in his log book to get to know their family and people in their life. I did SS' homework with him and, as it was the first entry I'd put in their, put how he did with his reading, then my name and (Stepmum). I also did his project with him in another homework book about autumn. All good. 

Next week they come back, I get his reading log out, and she has TIPPEXED OUT MY NAME IN THE READING LOG hahahahahahhahahahhaah. Then we realised the other homework book wasn't in there. We asked SS and he said, and I'm quoting directly here, MUMMY SAID THE DOG ATE IT. DH rang her and called her out and she genuinely said, in a very quiet voice, that the dog had eaten it. (Their fog is 12 years old btw and never chews anything) 

#8 About 6 months before we got married. SD (13) had stopped talking to me and DH. Absolutely no idea why. Just stopped talking to us. When we next had them, we sat her down to have a chat and see if she was okay. We finally got it out of her that she was angry at me for putting Stepmum in SS reading log, because mummy had said I will never be their stepmum. She starts screaming and crying at me, and basically sounds like a mini BM. We had had a great relationship before this btw and nothing had happened about from homework book gate. She says daddy has changed since hes been with me. To which he said 'Well, yes, I have. I care more now. I am more involved now ' We managed to calm her down and tell her we loved her and she doesn't need to be upset. 

#9 The most recent. Since Corona lockdown, the kids have been coming here 50/50 of the time. It's worked really well for us all, and it became clear the kids didn't want to go back to their mums. They even said they wanted to stay here more than their mums. We would have tears and tantrums every time they went back. DH spoke to her about making 50/50 as this was what the children wanted. She wasn't bothered about this at all, even suggested we have them full time! That was until the week after, when she realised this meant she wouldn't get any child payments from DH, and she would need to get a job. She said to DH she couldn't get a job because 'That's when I do the food shopping'. She said she wouldn't know how to get a job and asked DH to show her. This went back and forth for a while. When DH left, it was agreed that 50 50 was in the best interests for the kids and what they wanted (if not more). All good. Except last week DH gets a text out the blue from her saying to come and pick the kids up this weekend. He replies 'But it's not my weekend? We had agreed 50 50 so it'll be next week?' She replies saying it will go back to normal now Corona is 'over' and that's what's in the best interests of the kids. He's like, no, they all say they wanted 50 50, she knows that, they know that, and he'll see her at mediation. The kids are here now and she's done a right number on them. One of the reasons SS cited was because we had an xbox here for him. Well lo and behold she's bought him an xbox and just spent half an hour on facetime with him setting it up. 

I could go on and on. I'm sorry this is long. I'm actually nearly crying writing it all down. The issues are never the kids. I love them and we have lots of fun. It's her. It's always her. She is the most lazy, manipulative and selfish people I know. Had I known what a huge negative impact she would have on my life, I honestly would have thought twice of marrying DH, the love of my entire life. I look at other couples, they seem so simple, so 'normal'. No girl ever dreams of growing up and being step mum. Seeing it all written down has made me quite upset and down, and this isn't even all of it. I don't know what to do anymore. 

Sorry to highjack your thread OP. It's good to see others are going through similar st least. 

She has a drug and alcohol problem. When drug addicts are coming down off of their high, they can be very mean and nasty. That's what she does. We always know when she has stopped using because DH will wake up to a barrage of disgustingly hateful text messages.

She's told him she hopes he dies. She's verbally attacked my kids. She has stalked me all over social media. She has made fun of DH for being deaf {Hello? Why would you marry someone who is deaf if you look down on deaf people?}. 

There's so many to choose from.

• She told her dd that the medicine and multisuppliment we were giving her were poison.
• She told the police she felt threatened by her ex (my partner) then demanded that he come over to fix her computer. He told her she needed to arrange a time with the police so they could escort and supervise him. She asked why police needed to be involved. And when he said it was because she'd made complaints to the police her response was "oh, you know about that?"
• She lied to the police that a family friend had threatened to shoot her and her dd. Then demanded the person come collect stuff from her house and was again confused when told she needed to arrange for the police to escort and supervise the person. 
• She told her dd that a family friend had threaten to shoot her and mummy. 
• She threatened to have my kids taken off of me then wondered why things got "weird" between us.
• She tells people that the reason her house and yard are a mess is because her ex doesn't come over and clean it up (he moved out a year ago). 
• She made a huge show of getting fit (2-3 fitness classes per day) and was in her ex's face about who she was seeing and what they were doing sexually. And inviting the latest guy to join them on "family days" (suppose to just be her and her ex spending quality time with their dd). 
• She and my ex had a thing going on for awhile and even went on a date in an attempt to mess with our heads, we just laughed and gave them a condom.
• Just how she uses and abuses her child to manipulate others, despite the negative effects it has on her child. 
• When she was told by a legal person that how she treats her dd is "disgusting" and is child abuse and is grounds for losing all custody and access to her dd, her response was "well I didn't know". Has she improved how she treats her kid? Of course not.

TBH she does so much bullsh*t stuff that it all just blurs together, everyday is a new episode of what is she going to do next. She's a petty spiteful malicious narcissist.

Sorry, I have a lot of pent up negativity towards her. 

BM has been diagnosed as BiPolar, but refuses to take her meds because big pharma is trying to give everyone cancer with unnecessary medication, so they can make money off the cancer drugs. SS17 was diagnosed w/ ADHD about 8-10 years ago, but she wouldn't allow him to be medicated (see Big Pharma conspiracy, above). To be fair, my DH could and should have made it happen, but acquiesced to her wishes, which was pretty crappy of them both. It wasn't until SS17 completely crashed and burned, and was living with her full time, that she finally allowed him to be medicated. He had to be expelled, arrested for multiple felonies, be in danger of getting kicked out of even the continuation school, and make her house miserable full time, before she'd let him receive the medical treatment he needed. I think that's pretty crazy.