I have been told on here on my first blog that it is okay not to love your stepchild as your own....I was relieved because I felt guilty, but it still bothers me that I don't think I will ever "like" her, let alone love her....She's seven with a maturity of four but with an attitude of a thirteen year old. For every five steps forward I take, I take twenty more backwards.

She is his princess. Two weeks ago when we went to my son's ballgame, I bought her a snowcone only for her to take the cash and run....No thank you at all. I told her how it made me feel only for her to look away like she didn't care. When I asked her if she cared, she said "ya" but I didn't feel it. When I told him, he said, "I'm tired of having to get on her about it". My response was I didn't care and that as long as she disrespects, he should be "on her". This may seem petty, but this happens EVERY time I do something for her and the same scenario plays out.

I decided to take action for myself since his response didn't make me feel better. I had planned a movie with everyone, but told him she and he could stay behind while I took my son (my daughter was at a friend's house). (He also makes very little at his job after child support, so the majority of the activities/bills fall on me. This is another reason I feel hostile when she doesn't appreciate anything~it's always on my dime.) I had also taken her to a carnival on this particular week on which I didn't remember getting a thank you for that either. I told him he could explain to her when we were gone why she didn't get to go to the movie. When I returned he said she cried and he bought into it that she was sorry. I have known her for 2 1/2years...She wasn't sorry for how she made me feel, she was sorry she missed the movie. He didn't feel the same. She also "eye rolled" and since he didn't see it and it didn't happen to him, it didn't happen.

We have our kids on the same weekends. We planned it that way for the kids because his daughter and my son get along well (until he gets sick of her). However, it ruins my weekends with my own kids because it causes me great anxiety and misery when she is here.

Today is her birthday and I didn't arrange to do anything like I have in the past. I feel guilty about it, but I am tired of the disrespect. I feel awful b/c it's her birthday and I don't wanna make a big deal out of it. She thinks the world revolves around her on a typical day....I don't feel like making her feel even more "special" today or any other day. We have already fought about it and she isn't here yet. I don't see marriage in our future, but he expects it. I cannot marry this child too. I think it is a recipe for disaster. When I told him that, he said when I see it and he doesn't, I should get on her. He never sees it so that makes me the only one to "get on her" and once again, she has fooled him. He becomes the fun dad who she can manipulate at seven and I'm the wicked girlfriend who makes her accountable

In addition, he always throws it out there that he loves my kids, that he wouldn't dislike them and that when they are rude, he doesn't like them any less. This makes me angry b/c when they do something rude, I call them on it with consequences. My kids no better not to eye roll and if he does something for them they say thank you as they have been raised to do. I just know I'm exhausted with the entire situation and of sick of feeling like this every other weekend.