Stepson hates me.....????
I have never been to one of these but I am in search of help. The relationship we have isn't normal to begin with. My girlfriend's son hates me. To start this off I am in a relationship with my stepson's mother and father. I know its a little weird but it is something that we have chosen to do. I try my best to get along with him but he is spoiled rotten and always talks back. I can't help the way he is because that is the way he was raised, but I want him to love me. I am doing the best I can to fullfill his Christmas wish list but I don't want to feel like I am buying his love. Everything I say to him, he gives me attitude or ignores me. His mom takes his side and we end up fighting. What do I do? I love him and his parents, and I don't want to leave, but I want him to love me like a mom. If anyone has any suggestions, please please please help me.
~K
How old is he?
Maybe the whole situation is confusing to him. No disrespect intended but this is far from a "conventional" relationship you have going on here. Kids react to things in their own way. If this relationship is something you think will be permanent, maybe all 4 of you should go to counseling.
I hate to be the one to say it, he will probably never "love you like a mom" doesn't mean he won't love you. But he has a mom. There has to be a happy medium, honestly... maybe he is acting out because of the whole situation.
Daddys Gurl
CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
He is 12. We have all been
He is 12. We have all been together for a year now and things have been fine up until just recently. I also have a 15 year old step daughter and she took it hard in the beginning but now, she comes to me with VERY important things. The relationship is permanent but its not that he is just disrespectful to me, but its to his parents too. What does one do? He is old enough to be already set in his ways...ya know. He also has ADHD and it is a very bad case of it. He is very competive in sports and I started taking him fishing this summer. We have bonded but for some reason now we clash. We just recently transferred him to a school because he was failing all his classes and his teacher hated him because he was very disruptive. He is doing better now, but maybe he is rebelling against me because it was my idea to move him. I know he is a very smart young man and I want him to succeed beyond college. Any suggestions, on things that could help get us closer?
Sounds like...
You are doing all you can. Kids are funny like that. Moody and fickle. I am sure he will come back around. ADHD is tricky too. I wouldn't take it too personally. He is just a kid. And 12 year old boys are just mouthy sometimes. Wish I had a clear vut answer for you. But I don't think there is such a thing in a STEP situation, and yours is unique on top of that... good luck to you.
Daddys Gurl
CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
Just be yourself...
Just be yourself...and don't try too hard to gain his affection. He'll come around eventually as time goes by if you remain consistant and loving to him.
You also have a couple of strikes against you right now. One he's at a weird age, what with hormones and all and will probably only get worse (teenage years, look out). Two, his mom and you are together, not his mom and dad. He may be acting out towards you b/c he's not comfortable blaming his mom and dad. Making you the easy target. Don't take it personally.
It sounds like you're spending quality time with him and that's really, really good. Keep doing that, give him time, be yourself. In the end, if he doesn't love you as a mom, then I'll bet he'll like you. In some ways that's even better.