I can't post this on Reddit because I'm identifiable. I have been struggling with this for a long time, but especially over the past year. 

I just joined, so hi everyone! I'm a mom of two (a 3 year old boy and a 18 month girl), and a stepmom to a 14 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. The 14 year old lives with her mom and we see her every once in a while. The boy was just (literally) thrown into our lives last week, and turned our world upside down.

My two boys 9 & 13 live here part time (when they are not with their BM) they are talkative, upbeat and "zaney" 

....but the SD18 is here full time. 

Her loser (substance abuse) dad doesn't pay towards anything for her (neither do his parents)

She is pretty much a "shut in" she talks in whisper to her mother  and barely talks to me. She sleeps til 3pm in the afternoon. 

She's been offered but doesn't go to therapy for her anxiety and depression. 

This is something that I had needed to get off of my chest for a a couple years now. Please try not to judge...I spent 8 years in an abusive relationship and moved to a state when I was 23 where I have zero family.