I know finances can be an issue in the healthiest of relationships/families, but in dysfunctional step-families, they fuel a bona fide s-show. One early red flag was after BM learned we were dating: Suddenly, the "needs" ($) of the skids ramped up (DH mentioned this to me with a bewildered look on his face). It was unusual that yet another laptop or iPad had broken and needed replaced; iPods had to purchased; new cell phones were needed; there were camps to attend; professional photograph sittings*; etc. BM did not have a good job and complained of struggling.

Over the past month, I have felt my anxiety level slightly increasing. I've done so well in the past with detaching from skid s***, but I feel this creeping fog rolling in. 

I was on a FB page about narcissists and came across this:  

When you don't allow people to walk all over you anymore, the narrative will change. You'll become the villain in their story because you won't be giving them what they have no problem taking from you. But at least in your story, you'll be free. 

Five steps forward; two steps back. How quickly things change. We've been on the right path for a while now, and the last 6 months have been particularly good.  

SS and I got along when he was a teenager. He had his issues, but he wasn't going along with the PAS program the way his sister was, and he'd apologize when his behavior occasionally slipped into the "us vs. them" BM rule. He had even told me at one point that he felt his sister's behavior was extremely unhealthy. We know he had some issues with his mother.