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My Husband is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO YOUR SON IS NOT MY BIO KID WHEN ITS BENEFICIAL FOR YOU A**HOLE!!!!!

allinall's picture

Submitted by allinall on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 6:10am

Yesterday I blogged about my husband not getting a sitter for SS8 so I can go to a funeral. Well, today he said he had already reserved the sitter and didn't tell me b/c he was pissed off that I asked him about it. Now....get this...he said that I shouldn't have a problem with taking SS to a funeral because it he were by bio kid I would suck it up and do it. LOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!!! I told him yes, I would because if I had to, because first of all, this would be my bio kid's family. Second, if my bio kid got out of hand or disrespectful, I would take him/her in the bathroom and "spank" them as punishment. I told him I would have a lot more control over the behavior of my own child. He told me that if the situation warranted I should go ahead and spank him. Really????? Who determines the warrented situation. If I spank him for a reason that my husband disagrees with, he'd raise hell. I know spanking is a problem because if he doesn't like the tone of voice I speak to his child in I have to hear "why are you being so nasty to him?" Then he goes on to say that I "don't know what I'll have to deal with with ss". I had to laugh at that one. He never listens to me. I have to repeat things to him over and over again. DH says he was unaware of that. WHATT?????!!!!! I told him..."he doesn't listen to anyone". I told him I shouldn't have to deal with that because I didn't raise him that way. Anytime I said something about his behavior or disrespect I was told I was being mean and that he wasn't my child so I had no say. Bottom line...DH is upset because I won't treat ss like a bio kid and take him places with me, although, in other areas I'm supposed to treat him like a step kid and let him walk all over me. Yeah right!!!!!!!

Comments

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 7:06am

it's a double-edged sword. my H pulled the same crap.

I finally just stopped doing EVERYTHING. when my H asked about it, I told him he can't have it both ways so therefore I am taking care of it.

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 7:41am

"BTW, I would recommend against spanking as a disciplinary method. That makes children aggressive and they tend to be the hitters in daycare and school. Teachers can always tell which kids are spanked at home. It's really hard sometimes to resist the temptation to spank, particularly if you were spanked as a kid, but spanking teaches them that hitting is OK."

I disagree and I don't believe that there is any "proof" (I'm talking serious studies, not just conjecture) of what you say (that spank teaching kids that hitting is ok). I agree that spanking shouldn't be the primary method of discipline, but it certainly has its' place in child-rearing.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 8:14am

I don't think you need to beat a child, but a good tap on the back of the head from a mouthy tween seems to do the trick once in awhile and a pat on the ass of a temper tantrum throwing 4 year old does seem to have some influence on their behavior.

But, as a SM do not do it. The Bio's will turn on you on a dime, no matter how justified it is. But for your bio, I see nothing wrong within reason. Also, as for that theory about them turning agressive. No it actually has the opposite effect. Very beaten by my military father and I have probably only had to resort to anything physical with my kid maybe twice....

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 8:05am

grrrr, isn't that infuriating? sd20 always pulled that shit, too. when she wasnt' getting her way, she's an adult and shouldn't be told what to do, but when she is expected to behave like a person and not an asshole, she's just a kid and i'm so mean. the little bitch was 16-17 when this was going on, and IMO should not have to be told how to behave every damn day!

i called her on it. i told her when the situation suits her, she's an adult. when it doesn't, she's a kid. i told her she can't have it both ways, so which is it? is she a kid or an adult? of course she had no comeback for that. stupid cow.

steppingsucks's picture

Submitted by steppingsucks on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 10:40am

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this hypocrisy. Good job on sticking up for yourself.

@newwife3: I say the same sort of thing, but I like your version better:) My version: "I didn't marry her, have a baby with her, and raise the kid to be a spoiled brat. You made those bad choices, and you'll have to live with them, not me!"

a.k.a.

Not my kid, not my problem!

Imgoingtoscream's picture

Submitted by Imgoingtoscream on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:58pm

My husband has this same problem! When it comes to discipline then he can do as he pleases because they are "his" kids but when it comes to his kids visiting while he's going to be gone then I should act like they are mine! I don't want them here! Your visitation is YOUR visitation. I will never feel like they are my kids, nor will I treat them as such. I've told my husband that he's on his own when it comes to his kids. If he's not there then neither are they. I'm NOT their mother and if I was I would beat their asses! I think I would go to counseling to figure out where I went wrong if I was their BM! Just remember you are not the one that had them, you don't have to act like you are! My husband says the same thing we are a team but yet he does what he wants anyway. Let him deal with the little shits!