I know we all say that we love that our husbands want to be wonderful fathers to our Skids. However, I spoke to a divorced father this w/e that gave a totally different perspective on being a non-custodial father. He said that because he and his ex had such different value systems, he was able to "let go" of a connection that he had to his son from his ex. Now...he never said he didn't love his son and he always paid his child support and honored his visitation (while never fighting for additional time b/c he didn't feel it was necessary), but he never felt the need to go beyond that.

My DH used to call me "nasty" when I would tell SS8 that he had to eat whatever was placed in front of him instead of dictating to me how he wanted his meal prepared. Well, recently he's been experiencing some behavioral problems (hitting himself in head and banging head on desk at school when teacher tells him to do something he doesn't want to do as well as kicking the desk, throwing shoes across the classroom and crying) I told DH that it appears he gets frustrated and violent when he faces disappointment and that that needs to be reversed by eliminating his options for anything.

M mom seems to think I have been too light in my dealings with my new husband and SS8. I've been married a month and been with my husband for 5 years. Over the course of a couple of years, I have disengaged and made my husband take over disciplining. When he misbehaves, I tell his father so that he can deal with it. Mom says...I handled this wrong and I should be dealing with it to the point that I shouldn't even have to bring it up to H. (He is not DH today) How do you SMs who disengage balance the power in your homes?

A little back story....when I met my husband, he often overcompensated for his then 3 year old by reminding him how special he was because he was so intelligent and left handed. (yes, you are reading this right) He allowed his child to speak to adults disrespectfully and enjoyed having his child engage with him and his family and friends in adult conversations. To him, it was funny when his child would sit there while adults were talking (at 3,4, 5 and 6 yo) and look in their faces and interrupt them mid conversation to ask them questions.