You are here

Update on the baby shower

AllySkoo's picture

Well, there were no fights. So there's that. SD17's boyfriend (and his family) didn't speak to her family at all. (Yes, literally. He and his family didn't speak a single word to DH, or to SD's BM or sisters, and went out of their way to avoid them.) Lol I was more relived about that than hurt though! There was some weirdness where the boyfriend's mom tried to hide BM's gifts to her daughter under some trash, and BM got them back out and gave them directly to SD. We missed that though, thank goodness! BM told me about it and said, "She wants to be a bitch? I can SO out-bitch her!" Lol True, BM, very true.

However, SD17 also announced their engagement at this party. *sigh* DH and BM are both beside themselves, although for different reasons I think.

I'm going to have to mentally disengage from this girl for now. It's like watching a train wreck, one she's causing herself, and there's nothing I can do but wait for it to be over.

I might post this in General Questions, but for now... I know some of you have been in abusive relationships yourselves. So have I, actually. In my own case, it took about 2 years for me to "wake up" even though it was perfectly obvious long before that. I honestly don't know why I stayed. Not fear. Hope, maybe? That it would get better again, that he would get better? Stupidity, for sure. Anyway, I'm wondering how long it took those of you in abusive relationships to SEE the dysfunction? How long until you had that "wake up" moment where you knew you had to end it (even if it took longer to *actually* end it)? I know no one can predict the future, but I'm trying to figure out about how long it will take SD17...

Comments

hereiam's picture

Unfortunately, young girls who have never been on their own and who have not found their independence, will put up with it for a long time.

My SD23 just recently asked her ex-husband if he wanted to get back together. The guy cheated on her before they were even married. But she's lonely, she can't support herself and their 2 kids, and this other loser that's in her life treats her like dirt. She doesn't think she can find any better.

misSTEP's picture

Unfortunately, for a lot of girls like your SD, even if they DO manage to leave one abuser, they end up with another. Sad