But I just don't know what. 
 

I have been on autopilot for years. I just realized it. I haven't lived. I've just floated from one day to the next. My life is like a  bad sitcom that isn't funny but rather just a really uncomfortable train wreck you can't look away from. 

I have 100% disengaged from my SD. Unless it is a basic need like food or giving her her meds, I don't acknowledge her existence. I have also come to the realization that she hates me.. which is fine because the feeling is mutual.