It has taken many many years to see that I have a real problem. So I'm owning this right offf the bat. 

There are HUGE mini wife issues, which SO passes off as me being "jealous". At some stage I'll put some of those issues down on "paper"... this would be cathartic... but, for now, please trust me that the mini wife stuff is there and has been for more than 10 years.

So now SD is an adult (apparently). She's away at University. SO and I are living in different countries for the next three years. This was a necessary move for my work.