Horrible Bosses - IRL
I need to vent about a work situation and get some advice. I feel so sick right now as I've made this client a priority since it sounded like my dream job at first. Honestly, I feel DUPED, but I can't really play the victim... I DID keep asking God to help me understand why the hell SO continued talking to BPD-BM for so long, (even though his health was failing, he was depressed, etc.) and now, more than ever, I get it. I mean, I knew this woman for years before working there and had no idea she was such a toxic wreck... now I am afraid (FOG) to make a clean break.
Has anyone dealt with a manager like this? What did you do about it?
Here's her in a nutshell: The charm, the interest ONLY in outer appearances, blame shifting, the shallow emotions, attention-seeking behavior, paranoia, tantrums, divide and conquer, rage (on her scapegoat employee), 2-3 hour meetings, demands, her need to be surrounded and complimented by people all the time, hiding evil behind the crucifix she wears... the environment is chaotic and utterly exhausting and I’m ready to leave. (Remember on “You Can’t Do That On Television” whenever someone would say “I don’t know”, they would get slimed? It’s like that.)
There's no one above her. No HR, no one to talk to. I've offered many suggestions to streamline processes, but you know how that goes...
Soooooo, I need to leave. I know. But UGH. I’m having a hard time.
1) I’m getting paid a lot
2) I used to REALLY like/respect her and
3) I signed a contract until the end of the year and I’m supposed to go on a trip for the company this summer.
I don’t think I can wait it out. She’s not mean to me AT ALL. She’s just a mess, thrives in chaos and I liked her so much more in small (bi-annual) doses. I can't tell you how many pep talks -- unpaid counseling sessions -- I've had with her employees and now, I NEED ONE.
Please tell me how you contain/compartmentalize your horrible boss, or even better, how to escape them.
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Comments
Mental health is the key.
Mental health is the key. It's infected every part of my life. And like yours, she'd be the one that would still call/text/email, so I'm not sure how to make a clean break. It feels like an abusive relationship. I know I should go, but....
Thank you, moving_on. I
Thank you, moving_on. I totally respect your opinion and you understand what I've been trying to tell SO (who just says, "Take the money!"). IT IS an abusive relationship! Someone expecting you to be there whenever they have a thought in their head...around the clock. I didn't want to say it like that, however, I've told one of the other ladies there (who recently quit) that it's like being in an abusive relationship without getting laid.
LOL right...they must know
LOL right...they must know how much they suck. I can so relate about the trauma victims! The large salary and perks keep you around like flowers and jewelry during the honeymoon phases. UNHEALTHY. And my body is screaming, "girrrrrl, get out!" I swear, THIS is how it feels for men to be involved with crazy BM's... the feelings I'm wrestling with right now are giving me so much clarity on SO's situation.
Don't think about it...
Don't think about it... whenever I do, I'm reminded that BM used anal to "bribe"/hoover SO... and yes, the nasty bitch shared that with me IN WRITING. I saved it.
Hahaha you nailed it. She
Hahaha you nailed it. She also got dumped by her "fiance" while he was in jail; he wasn't susceptible to hoovers as he was getting his anal elsewhere, presumably.
What happens if you break the
What happens if you break the contract? Do you get sued?
Have you looked to see if there are other jobs out there for you? You should at least look before you think of quitting. Can you hold on until the rest of the year if you know your sentence isn't permanent?
Yikes. Need to go back and
Yikes. Need to go back and read it again....thank you. I didn't pay attention to that part because I didn't think I'd leave. (Ugh. Dumb, I realize!) I make enough from other clients that my necessities are covered. It was just extra money that put me in a better position to buy a house. I don't think I can hold on until the end of the month.
For the last few months, I've felt so squeamish and thought it was step/court-related. It's not.
I dunno... I'm all for being
I dunno... I'm all for being happy in your place of employment and finding a better job than the one you have, but... you signed a contract. I think it'd be kind of crappy of you to break that. Think you can suck it up and just get the job done for the next 7 months?
You're right... it's more
You're right... it's more than giving your word. I just looked on the contract and it says that either party can terminate with 30 days notice. I really think that 30 days is all I can do!
And it's not general unhappiness. I've had miserable jobs before... you just enjoy the paycheck, no biggie. THIS is toxic chaos coming from a toxic source.
The worst part I think is the relationship built... I feel like I'm letting her down. Which I would be, I guess. But looking back, I realize that I was just "one of her fans" - narcissistic supply.
My previous job was in the
My previous job was in the law enforcement field. We would hire people and they had to sign a contract to stay for a year. If they quit before the year was up, they were sued for breach of contract to recover the expenses of putting them through the academy. But if you aren't going to be sued , then quit. Quit today. Is it a big corporation that has lawyers on retainer? I'm guessing not if there is no HR department then you are golden if they don't have the time or resources to go after you for breaking the contract.
That is scary...thank you so
That is scary...thank you so much for making me check the contract. I wish I could quit today. Non-profit. I would be leaving my clients as well as boss. I'll tie up loose ends before leaving my clients.