boogeymom's Blog
They've only been here 5 minutes...
...but I already want to kick the skids out of my house. No one ruins a holiday weekend like the skids! SS11 is already whining about having wet pants for some bizarre reason, and SS13 still wants to think he's the dad because I SWEAR he acts like he's in charge of everything and everyone and always has something to say about EVERYTHING. I seriously wish I could just tell them to shut the f up and go hit the highway. Can. Not. Stand. I'm so super excited I get to spend the next few days listening to their whiny, irritating, stab-me-in-the-ear-with-an-icepick voices.
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I swear to everything holy, these kids will fight over ANYTHING.
Today's SS13 nuclear meltdown was brought to you by cleaning the bathroom. That's right...cleaning. The. Bathroom. BOTH SS11 and SS13 were charged with cleaning the disgusting, horrifying, vomit-inducing bathroom in the basement which I haven't been able to use in months because the pee is CAKED on the toilet seat and I refuse to clean it. First they started fighting over who was going to do it.
So, I've some to the conclusion that I simply care too much
Just now, as I was gritting my teeth about SS11 apparently bent on putting himself on the road to type 2 diabetes with his over the top breakfast, I made myself stop. Then I asked myself, why do I care? I've already made my concerns about his dietary habits known, even DH acknowledges that he's putting on chub in the "heart-attack zone" and he's only 11, and yet nothing changes. He's not fat...yet...but I can definitely see a time in the future when he hits 30 and his metabolism slows down, he'll put on a bunch of weight all of a sudden.
Why do they call it "smart mouth" when it makes them sound so dumb?
I'm convinced that teenagers were actually created by Lucifer himself as punishment for all of mankind's sins. They were AWFUL this weekend...like worse than ever before. SS13's mouth is so far beyond out of control, I'm literally finding that I have to physically remove myself from his presence so I don't go straight down to the court house and divorce DH behind these kids. SS11 is starting to take a turn down the same path.
Hypochondriac Harry strikes again...part tres.
Well, this morning, SS13's intestines are on fire from the green chili he ate last night, and also he's got a broken rib because it hurts when he breathes in too deeply. Funny, it doesn't hurt too bad for him to stop talking. We're going to the in-laws' all weekend to help them move. They only coddle him and play into all his bullcrap. It's gonna be a long one....
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If you look up the word "insolent" in the dictionary...
...there would be a picture of SS13 right next to it. Do you know that, while I was responding to one of his inane and pointless questions of the day, this boy actually said to me, "ACTUALLY, Boogeymom, I was TALKING to DAD." He is lucky he didn't get put out of the vehicle (DH was driving, and if it had been me, he would've been walking home).
Hypochondriac Harry strikes again...part deux
So, SS13's mouth got him in trouble at school today because he doesn't know when to shut up and some kid gave him a punch in the arm. Naturally he took this opportunity to play it up big-time to BM, who eats it up with a spoon, and took him to urgent care for x-rays. Of course, a sock in the arm doesn't result in a fracture 99/100 times, and SS13 was no exception, but BM insisted on his arm being in a sling.
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Hypochondriac Harry strikes again.
So, maybe I've never mentioned it before, but SS13 is a total hypochondriac. Something always has to be wrong with him, it's super annoying, but I figured out that it could possibly be fun sometimes. This weekend's illnesses include possible scoliosis and possible lactose intolerance. He WAS lactose intolerant as a baby, very severely so, but then he outgrew it. As far as the scoliosis goes, I have no idea where that came from.
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My new attitude is so awesome, why didn't I think to do this before?!?
So, after our huge 4th of July blowout, I just decided to take a step back and maybe figure out another way to deal with my situation. I took the time to remember that I do have a background in child development, and that all the crap the skids have been doing has now actually gone from crazy inexcusable to normal teenage behavior.
I don't want to say "I told you so" in about 25 years...
...but I probably will anyway. So, let me just give a little background really quick. SS11 (and a lot of other people) has maintained for years that he'll never gain weight. I know eventually metabolism catches up, so does DH because it happened to him, the kid who would "never gain weight." SS11 is notorious for eating a ton of crap in not a lot of time, and that's why I call him the Garbage Pail Kid in my mind.