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Do they ever step off the merry-go-round?

Byefelicia's picture

Submitted by Byefelicia on Fri, 02/03/2017 - 10:07pm

Hello everyone...I posted here a couple of times...some people weren't very happy with me, but that's ok, I get it!

Anyhow, I moved out of stephell quite a while ago. My ex-fiancé is still heavily involved in a child custody dispute with his ex-wife. He went from visitation to 50/50 and most recently his kids have asked the judge to live with their father full-time. However, that request was not granted. My ex continues to pay the same amount of child support(no reduction since 50/50 was granted) and also pays for health care for both children. He is not allowed to claim either children on his tax return. At this point, he has nearly bankrupted himself with attorney fees and court appointed therapists.

My question is this...Do they ever give up? When is enough, enough? At what point do you stop? Before or after complete financial ruin?

Again, I no longer live with or near him. I just recently spoke with him and heard his latest news and was curious as to what experienced seasoned steptalkers thought about his situation.

Comments

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Fri, 02/03/2017 - 10:45pm

Yes after they can no longer afford the fight. It tends to have some serious ramifications. We are still paying off my husbands battle 2 years later.

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 02/06/2017 - 1:50am

I meant the fighting stopped when they ran out of money. Now it's just nasty little swipes and alienation. She tends to win.

Byefelicia's picture

Submitted by Byefelicia on Sat, 02/04/2017 - 12:11am

I don't mean give up on their children! I mean the two parents fighting each other for no good reason. Neither parent is on drugs or an alcoholic or abusive...but they fight over orthodontist appointments and who gets to take the kids to see a Star Wars movie....

They have been fighting for 2 years this round ...

Byefelicia's picture

Submitted by Byefelicia on Sat, 02/04/2017 - 7:23am

That's the other problem with his kids they are so emotionally stunted by the constant court cases and parental smothering that I can't see them being capable of functioning as adults in the future. One of the children should be getting his driver's license in the spring but I really doubt it will happen. The kids are really unmotivated in their lives and don't apply themselves in school. They are very immature and neither has friends. They don't function like "normal teens". They don't have girlfriends or any type of teenage interests...

One of the problems we had with their behavior when I lived with them was one or both was placing boogers on the bathroom walls and in the shower. Very juvenile behavior for kids their age...

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 02/05/2017 - 5:10am

I think it varies for each parent and situation.... obviously.

In our case once we had forged the SpermClan into submission and given them clarity that they could do it either the easy way or the hard way our effort relaxed a bit.... until they lost clarity... then we would bring the pain again.

Had our situation been reversed I am confident that we would have done whatever we could to protect the Skid... but I am not sure we would have stayed on board that strategy all the way to financial destitution.

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Sun, 02/05/2017 - 1:51pm

I think it differs for everyone.

Sometimes one parent's hatred for the other runs deeper than their love for the child(ren) involved. It becomes a war zone and there are no winners. It was wise of you to move on.