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Caitlin's Blog

Advice, please

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Whenever something comes up during non-visitation and we would like SD to attend, we usually request a change to BM in writing weeks or sometimes months in advance. She refuses to discuss it until it's too late and we end up disappointed. Knowing this, we never stop trying.

BM flipped in front of the therapists at the sound of my name

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BM was at the top of her game last night at the Family Based Therapy appointment at her apartment with my fiance and SD. She had been playing the victim fast and furious with them for weeks and apparently they bought into it because my fiance said they backed her up left and right. She attacked him for a good hour, calling him an irresponsible father and a bully, saying he "abused her, her father, and her extended family for years" but wouldn't elaborate on what the hell that meant because it's a big fat lie.

Happy news! Woo hoo!

Caitlin's picture

My tax refund was deposited into my account today. What does this have to do with stepparenting, you might ask? Well, it has everything to do with the official blending of our family in fact.

This tax refund will finance the lawyer we are retaining to finalize the divorce from his ex, after 4 long years of her refusing to close it and us sitting idly by, completely impotent to her power because we could never afford a lawyer to give her the smackdown.

I don't have a good feeling about this

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BM emailed my fiance last night at 9:30 to inform him of their first Family Based Therapy appointment together at her place today. Here's her little love note:

BF,
On Tuesday, February 13, the family therapists will be coming here to meet with you, SD and me. They arrive at 6:00 P.M. and stay for an hour. I suggest that you come to the apartment to work with SD on school work and then have dinner before 6:00 P.M. - let's say 5:30 P.M. Is it possible for you to arrive earlier than 5:30 P.M.? Would 4:30 P.M. be possible? -BM

Strange questions from SD

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We had SD over the weekend and we usually try to give them some "D&D time" (Daddy & Daughter time) alone together. Well, when they were having some of their quality D&D time together yesterday, SD just came out of the blue to ask some really bizarre questions that could have only come from BM herself. Here's how my fiance recounted the conversation to me. I'm probably leaving some things out, but this is the gist of it.

SD's banquet

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Ok, here we go again. SD's swim banquet is coming up next month and we need to RSVP. It lands on our weekend and naturally, we all want to go and support SD in her accomplishments. Well, if I know BM, she will fight tooth and nail to keep me from going. I am conflicted as to what I should do. Part of me says, "I have every right to be there! BM can suck it up! I need to be there on principle." The other part of me says, "I am pregnant.

BM just doesn't stop!

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We have SD this weekend and she will finally be returning to school on Monday, so BM called my fiance just now, wanting to make sure she would have a restful weekend with us. Fine, good attempt at coparenting. (We were already going to do this and don't need her telling us, but any communication that doesn't involve her hurling accusations at us is a huge step.) Then she tried to tell us what movies to watch, what time to go to bed and get up, and not to take SD horseback riding as if any of that is her business. I'm so sick of her trying to control our household!

God bless my mother

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My mom has been so worried about SD (as we all have!) that she decided to write a letter to SD's therapist. I wanted to share it with all of you, because it is so spot on.

Dear Dr. M,

I am writing with shared concern regarding your patient, SD. My daughter Caitlin has informed me of the current situation. SD’s father, BF, may have spoken to you about my resolve to involve Social Services in order to ensure SD’s safety and well being.

BM coaching SD to lie in therapy

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During SD's psychiatric evaluation yesterday, BM made a big deal about how SD is not comfortable with my family. SD haltingly recounted a few things she didn’t like about going to my parents' home, some of which I mentioned in a previous blog if you've been following along. The whole time SD was saying these things, she was looking at BM and BM was coaching SD through the whole story.

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