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5 years...

CLove's picture

Today is husband and I 5th year wedding anniversary.

Yesterday I was enjoying a beverage with a GF and told her "back when I met husband, I was 135 and HAPPY". She got that distinction.

What are we doing for our 5th? Working and then heading south to a place that will fry our brains in 102 deg ft weather. To listen to music. Which I organised and set up.

Strange symmetry?

Comments

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Did he get you flowers? A card? Anything???

Early in our marriage, my DH tried blowing off our anniversary. It landed on the first day of a week's vacation, and DH claimed his plan was "to get me something at Walmart when we stopped for groceries on the way". CLove, I lit his butt up. I'd gotten him a nice gift and card ahead of time, and I told him his plan was not good enough. He apologized, and has never flaked or cheaped out on our anniversary since. There were many times I had to stand up for myself in those early days; it was the first time DH had been with a normal, well-adjusted woman and he needed correction to up his game.

We teach people how to treat us girl, and if you don't speak up and tell him what you want, there's zero chance you'll ever get treated the way you deserve. Even if you have one foot out the door, don't accept poor treatment!

CLove's picture

no card.

Friday and Saturday were great. Sunday sucked. Long story.
We shall see what this week brings. Its supposed to be Powersulks visitation week again. Im considering telling husband she needs to pack her chit and plan on doing visitation somewhere else.

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

Mine never remembered and doesnt care to! I used to plan stuff and give cards/gifts, then he would wait until the next and buy something quickly sometimes. Usually after he ruined the day with a poor attitude or bringing his children for non scheduled visitation. I stopped celebrating at the 10th year mark because he ruined it by trying to have his ex wifes son over and got upset and insulting when I pointed out it was our anniversary. I gave him a card and a customized photo book. Thats it, moving forward it will be another day for me.

I think its cool that you planned something but dont stress yourself too much if he isnt into it.

 

Lillywy00's picture

I'm sorry....I just read the part of 

"......Usually after he ruined the day with a poor attitude or bringing his children for non scheduled visitation."

Girl!......I felt that in my soul. 

Exactly what happened to me last week.

These unschedule visitations be grating my nerves because its conviently on the days that are supposed to be about YOU but end up centering around the kids.....I was partly pissed because I wanted a break from his kids but somewhat glad I didn't have to participate in some all-night on-demand anniversary f*ck-a-thon because he was going to be too busy dealing with his kids. 

1st3rd5thWEInHell's picture

All of that unscheduled stuff ended in 2018 after BM2 attempted to take my husband to court and failed but from then onwards we follow the court order

 

I still have to deal with unscheduled visitation from his non bio child so that quite annoying

As far as the anniversary, I advise to live and celebrate for yourself. I personally wouldnt include a person who doesnt include me and I would take myself out or treat myself out. Thats what i plan on doing this year lol

Lillywy00's picture

Our 'anniversary' was last weekend.....Lots of fake 'i'm gonna act better' .... MF you should have been acting better

He argued with me leading up to the event, his kids (especially his daughter) called non-stop the actual day and would not stop calling at all times of the day/night, he promised to keep his kids with their mother for the weekend, then folded like a cheap accordian when they demanded to come to the house (disturb my peace and 'anniversary') on Sunday through Monday.

Should have known that manipulative c*nt and that guilt riddled disneyland dad wasn't gonna let me have a weekend free from those obnoxious spawns.

So I basically had to split my anniversary with his needy ass clingy ass passive-aggressive kids. 

Anyways, hope you enjoy the day as much as possible.....grab his credit card and order yourself some flowers and tell him if he plays his cards right you will order some lingerie too. 

 

mommadukes2015's picture

Neither SO or I know what our official "anniversary" even is so we've never celebrated it. 
 

like "hey it's been x years around this time! *high 5*" and that's literally the end of it lmao 

Kloewent's picture

We got married on St. Patrick's day. He never forgets! My birthday is the day before his, so he never forgets that either!

Rags's picture

first date day.

My IL clan have an interesting characteristic.  They know the day the first met their mate, the day of their first date, where and when their children were conceived, and they talk about family events that occurred before they were even born as if they were there. "Remeber that time grandpa did XYZ & LMNOP? That was so cool."  No, I don't remember and neither do you. That happened three decades before your birth.

smh

I know that our first date was about a week before TG so I could probably back into it if I looked up the calendar for that year.

Our 29th anniversary is on the 30th.  I think a weekend trip to Lake Havasu City to bake in the oven of summer hell is what I will arrange.  We just got back from Hawaii and all she can get is a 3day weekend the week of our anniversary.  So, I will arrange a route to Havasu that hopefully takes us on a route that will be entirely new to us, I'll get reservations at whatever nice restaurants catch my attention, and I will get a pile of cheesy anniversary, lovey dovey, some funny, some deeply caring, cards.  It is my thing. A dozen or so Valentines cards, B-day cards, anniversary cards, and flowers. If I can find something unique and interesting, jewelry.

I forget many things. Most things in fact. I far more often than not forget something she asked me to do and have to scramble to get it done so I do not get in hot water. Which I wallow in more than I should.

But... I always remember our anniversary and her B-day.  And the kids B-day.  And my parents anniversary. And my brother's birthday.

la_dulce_vida's picture

Our "anniversary" has become a point of contention.

We first met in person on 4/10/19. We were friends for about a month before things got "personal." That was 5/13/19. He said that we should have an official first date which happened on 5/17/19.

However, because of some shenanigans related to unresolved grief from the loss of his LW 4 years prior, I broke it off with him before we reached our first anniversary. We reconciled about a month before our first dating anniversary, but he said that because I broke up with him (even if he deserved it), the clock was reset and there was nothing to celebrate.

We went on a bikepacking trip on our 2nd anniversary but it was never officially FOR our anniversary even though I gave him a card.

I planned a weekend away for our 3rd anniversary at my Airbnb, but he canceled due to his mom having a health crisis. He did make it out for ONE night. I gave him a card and made him dinner.

This year, he totally ignored our anniversary. I had decided I wasn't going to do a card or anything. He never spoke the words nor did he plan anything special.

We had a heated discussion where he basically invalidated the date (5/13/19) as our anniversary. Claims he's never been good with them (while married to his LW). I pointed out that he was pretty good with ALL the important dates after she passed (one of the reasons I broke up with him due to his behavior around those dates).

So, we decided to agree on a new anniversary date that would occur during our vacation this past June. He said D-Day was an easy day for him to remember.

Can you guess what happened on that day? We decided to do a lot of driving that day and agreed to celebrate it the next day. I was pooped and decided to do laundry at the campground - which too forever, and he was in a snit when I got back to our campsite. We argued and I officially gave up. I will not recognize our anniversary again.

I'm a gift and card giver, but I won't be giving him a card for his birthday next month. I'll likely get him a gift, but no more cards and no more anniversaries.

We've been together 4 years and while I'm in no hurry to get married again, I'm feeling like someone he'll never commit to.

Happy anniversary, CLove. You're such a loving and giving person. I wish your husband would show you the proper love and care.