So Glad
I am out of anything to do with SD11 right now. She's being an utter bitch to everyone; entitled, spoiled, smart mouth. My parents are here and told me, "DP really needs to parent her or he is in trouble..." Yes, I know. I had to stop them from helping clean things up...don't move that, put that down, don't clean that dish...LOL. They totally get it now after three days.
The latest drama is that DP gave SD9 a cute blanket when she was sick with pneumonia. SD11 got jealous and wanted one as well. Instead of saying NO (that foreign word) and explaining why, he apparently told her "the next time I go to that store". So two days ago he asks me about it (me not knowing he told her yes already).
Me: no don't get her one. Explain gifts for those who are really ill. Besides she got a new pair of boots AND her dresser refinished and finished for her. That's not nothing. And by the way I never got a thank you for any of that.
DP didn't say anything in response but for "I told her to thank you"
Me: but you didn't make SURE she did!"
but later that evening he told me...
My mouth dropped open and I asked, "Why did you ask my opinion when you already told her?!"
DP, "you know I can't tell her...(he couldn't even say NO to me!!!!!)"
Me, "well, you are on your own.
Today we get back from a quick trip to THAT store. She's furious there's no blanket. She tells me in a huff, "He didn't get one for me!" I ignore. She stomps off. DP brings down a new fleece jacket for her and she went OFF on him. I didn't listen but if she had spoken to me like that there'd be NO more school clothes at all. None.
He comes out of room shell shocked. Shoves new jacket into our closet. I take it and DP says that it's too late he's not returning it. I take it down to SD9 and tell her that her sister didn't want it so now she has two new jackets.
I can't wait for dinner tonight to see what happens.... }:)
DP was going to order both SDs some school things last week, then this weekend, now next week? How many bets that SD9 doesn't have any shoes to wear to school?
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Update dinner: SD was a
Update dinner:
SD was a snarky problem as soon as she sat down. Luckily I told my mom to ignore her (forgot to tell my dad darn it!)...as I was doing. SD turned to me at one point and asked, very bitchily, "Cover, how do I serve myself?" I said, "you can figure it out, just use the serving utensil." SD, "but I don't know..." In a huff.
Me, "ask your dad." Who was sitting next to her (in her 'regular spot' which she was also pissed at being moved for guests.)
DP helped her, not me. To my surprise actual tears happened! I don't think she expected that from me. I continued very formal all through dinner and her attitude improved till she went to bed. I don't think she's brushed her teeth for a WEEK but that's on DP.
Turned out well in the end, and she got to give one of my cats a treat since she was more human later on. Kindness and respect go a long way and both ways...
Sounds more like bitchy-mean
Sounds more like bitchy-mean on your part. Perhaps its just the way you presented the situation.IDK.
Nah, her attitude stank. I
Nah, her attitude stank. I had asked her nicely to start the serving first. She's done it before perfectly well. She was snarling back at everyone and was practically shoving things at people rather than passing them. DP was doing NOTHING about her attitude all afternoon so he can help her.
Oh he didn't ask me to buy it
Oh he didn't ask me to buy it (I would have laughed!)...he asked my opinion if he should buy it for her after he already promised it to her. I am sure he hasn't yet explained WHY she shouldn't get it to her. She actually shoved her laptop at him last night and ordered him to get one for her as she found one online and if he didn't he'd be sorry....after she left the room DP looked at me and I went "wow" silently at him and continued cleaning kitchen. He did nothing.
oh god, sorry. I wrote the
oh god, sorry. I wrote the last entry not on coffee.
She shoved HER laptop (she has a Kindle, laptop, phone AND iPad!!) at him and ordered him to order that blanket for her 'or else!'
I've been so good at ignoring and I love it. No more worries for me. If she asks me nicely or addresses me politely all is good.
SD9 is beside herself happy because she gets my attention, but she's also usually polite (if too quiet sometimes). She even ate beets for the first time last night and "...these taste REALLY good!"
It's a huge pressure off not to worry about the school clothes too. I put a bunch of stuff online for him and skids to look at, he has the lists, and he can buy when he wants. Done! If SDs don't have shoes, lunch bags, sweaters, not my problem.
SD11 has also asked to stay with us more often as we thought she would do. She asked me about it first and I just told her that I'll help when I can but she needs to talk to her parents and get it sorted out.
DP did express irritation for the first time that they didn't bring some things from BMs that they needed this past week, but he refused to make a special trip to go get them and THAT'S an improvement.
It was a crazy weekend! Next weekend we have to ourselves (I hope) and we need it.
"If she asks me nicely or
"If she asks me nicely or addresses me politely all is good." this is how i handle yss. and your interactions w/ sd9 sound like me and mss. just be reaaaalllyyy careful that it doesnt look like blatant favoritism or else you'll end up being bitterly resented.
Yes, I am very, very aware of
Yes, I am very, very aware of the favoritism issue. My sister and I had HUGE issues with that growing up. She was highly favored and acknowledges that now. My parents are just now coming to terms with that themselves and I think trying to make up for it possibly.
My favors with SD9 are small and I try not to be obvious. And if SD11 is there and not being too bratty I try to loop her in when feasible. I think at dinner last night, SD11 kind of got it as she was pretty close to normal by the end of dinner when no one was taking her bait or giving her attention. She got to give one of the cats a treat after which she loves to do.
Gotcha. I'm hyper sensitive
Gotcha.
I'm hyper sensitive to it so may over-think it.
But I'll tell ya, It's more pleasant hanging out with SD9 most evenings and helping her with things (and she gets more chocolate that way) if she's nice.
I still will NOT ever do extra stuff or anything really for SD11 if she's in a nasty mood. She was actually quite charming last night and had fun. Hormones + entitled = horrible.