Last night, SO and I were talking and he said in our conversation, that he needs someone to "push" him with helping to discipline his kid. He does understand that his kid does need it ... He has no discipline at SO's parents place (which is where he goes Thursday afternoons and Fridays (when SO works)), from what we can gather, he has no discipline when he's with BM/on BM's time.
He keeps saying he is greatful that I've helped him with a few things, namely, getting him to sleep in his own room (which is what WE got him to do when we first got together).
This morning, we both woke up and we both had a rather good sleep last night - we usually can't as we both toss and turn and I'm usually in pain from this pregnancy. But we both slept really well, SO even slept in a little. So I thought it was a good time to address it all calmly again, regarding his child.
I told him I don't know where I stand, and when I ask him to keep on his son about something, he always ends up saying that I do nothing other than pick on his kid, even though we had discussed basic rules when we first moved in together. I also stated that, yes, my son does have more roam of the house BUT he IS with us all of the time and does understand the rules more than his kid.

Anyways, with all the talking that we have done lately, we have decided that Sunday night, we are going to sit down and discuss "house rules" again and the disciplinary actions we decide for BOTH of our kids.
I'm really wanting things some-what sorted before the baby comes along.

And for those who think this is the only problem in our relationship is his kid, please think again. This is only 1 issue for us at the moment. My partners life is more complicated, yes, I do get that, but lately, I really am trying to figure out where 'I' actually do fit in.
He has his son, all the bullshit to deal with BM, his mother IS controlling (which he's finally starting to see), ect ect ...
With my life - its me and my son. My son doesn't have anything to do with his pot-head bio-dad, and my parents (dad and SM) only "step in" to help me when I ask for it, otherwise they stay right out. I'm not saying my life is perfect - it is FAR from perfect - there is depression, OCD, PTSD, and that's only to name a few things ...

I believe a parent is there to guide its child, to teach it to learn right from wrong. To help the child make the best decisions in life. The best time to teach the child to learn right from wrong is when they are young (IMO).

I may sound like an evil step-witch from my posts, but it wasn't always this way. When I had my old unit, SO use to pick up his kid straight after work, and they would come out to my place, and half the time I would run out to his ute to get his kid out, to give him a cuddle before I would even say "hello" to SO. I would get pissed off with small things such as BM putting nail polish on his nails (that was before he turned 2), because it can make them sick, and kids do put fingers in their mouths. With my old unit I made sure he had a space, that he had a high chair, that he had "his" things there so he knew he was welcomed.
Disciplining him at my old unit wasn't all too difficult, until just before we moved in together, when BM decided to start a whole heap of crap, and that was just after she found out we were pregnant. She started having all these silly tests done to their kid that were not needed, and should would find silly excuses to "need" to talk with SO, which mostly ended up in arguments (in front of their kid), she tried to put SO on a DVO which resulted in court (she ended up withdrawing it). And also with that, she moved house as well.

A lot of things have happened, and I really think that SO's kid needs the guidance and stability and the discipline to learn right from wrong. He has been through A LOT, and I am really upset at how much he has been put through.

Your thoughts, advice and such are welcomed.
Even if you have any ideas on ways to discipline, ways not to, what 'I' can do, what SO can do, what my SO and I can do together ect ...