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I thought being a Biological Mother was Hard???? Till I married into two more kids......

deprestepmom_30's picture

I have never posted a blog so here it goes,

....today is April 16th 2015, the day after the government strips us of our labor pains and hands us back some chore money, all that hard work for nothing, good job Working Americans.

This morning I got up at 8 AM to my two 4 yr olds, one Biological Daughter and one Step-daughter, whispering back and forth about how many stuffed animals and blankets they were going to drag down stairs and decorate my living room with. Meanwhile, I check the bathrooms to see what kind of mess my 13 yr old Step-Son left for me before he runs off to school, #1 surprise or #2 surprise....To my everyday surprise just #1 left over as I am flushing and starting my day as usual. I hurry and disinfectant toilets and sinks and handles and door handles knowing the SS-13 doesn't wash his hands and I don't want my girls touching everything that has matter particles on it that should not normally be on such surfaces, LIKE THE REST OF MY HOUSE! So I have become so OCD about germs on light switches and handles and remotes that I make it my personal chore to do before I can get a "good morning" to the girls and get to set down with them, due to that is the only time of the day where I can get their full attention. lol.

As I got my coffee and cig and sat on my porch listening to the world waking up, I realized that I was pissed off! I am sick and tired of cleaning up after a 13 yr old who should know how to complete such tasks that my 4 yr olds can do with their eyes closed.

My 4 yr olds know how to make their beds, brush their teeth (DAILY!), use the potty (WIPE!) and know that flushing is part of the process, use soap when taking a bath, wash their hands when done using the potty, take their dirty clothes to the dirty clothes area ( NOT THEIR FLOOR!), clean off their plates when done eating, and place in the sink (if they could reach they would know to RINSE their plates off),Say "EXCUSE ME" after their stomach's talk through their mouths or buttocks, I'm sure I am missing some things in there that they could reteach my SS-13 :?

I was so mad that I made the conclusion that he only does this crap to ME! When I mention these problems to his Dad, ( my carefree Husband), he always doesn't believe me! He says that he never sees him doing these things, like drink a whole gallon of milk a day!!! I need a personal indoor Dairy cow for this kid, screw the rest of the family who would like some milk for their cereal! When my husband is home the next morning and I am at work, my SS doesn't do this stuff he does to me when my husband is at work and I am home. He loves to leave his bed unmade and every electrical device on for me to listen to as I walk through his door. I haven't said anything for the past three weeks just seeing if I was just picking on the kid, NOPE, I was right, he makes sure that he leaves a trail going out the door just for me to clean up after him.!!! I AM SO SICK OF IT!!!

We had a major blow out Easter Week, where I told him about what his real mother was like (jail bird of 6 months who didn't fight for her kids gave them to their father with full custody, I just raised them for the past three years while she spends her money on herself and i Sacrifice for mine and hers.But she is the Hero according to SS-13) Anyway SS13 and I haven't spoke but short answers to each other since.. This isn't normal to can't stand to be around this kid, someone please tell me this is normal!!!!

I AM AFRAID THIS KID WILL COME BETWEEN MY HUSBAND AND I. OUR family!

COMPLETELY DEPRESSED STEP-MOMMY

Comments

MomandSMofSix's picture

This is my life in a nutshell! I have 2 boys 5 and 7 and now have Skids 12 and 13. They can't do anything that is expected of my two. Literally. They are accountable for nothing, useless, and self centered, entitled freaking brats! I'm at my wits end :/ DH always has an excuse for them and I just want to shake him until he ACTUALLY sees straight.

deprestepmom_30's picture

Okay this is great I'm off to a good start first Blog ever and I'm already connecting to someone! Smile

First things first is there master key for all the "Step" lingo? I have read a few blogs and replys to other forums but I get confused on some of the lingo, I'm figuring out Skids=Step Kids

BM=?
DH=?

there are other ones too I think MH or BM i dunno...

On another note, it's 1 AM and I am usually asleep, but tonight I just can't get past this issue(s) I am having. I feel bad that I can't explain to my Husband about certain things without making him feel like I am just nit-picking as they say. It always ends in silence on his end, like he doesn't even hear what I say. I even try to throw off hints, "I am glad I made dinner tonight, at least I know your Son is still alive", I mean how loud do I have to scream inside for someone to hear me!!! On another aspect of this awesome relationship I have with my SS-13 I don't mind when he en-caves himself in his stinky room, and I shouldn't feel like that but I just can't take it anymore...It's sad when step parents have to go to the ultimate extreme and have to google for answers. You can't ask our parents generation for help because most of us have grown up with a WHOLE family. Not anymore, most families are either single or blended very rare are there any BDs and BMs in the same household raising their children together. NOOOO you have to get a psych degree just to make sure you don't get a damaged child transitioning into a damaged adult between all the chaos!

Living the dream's picture

"They are accountable for nothing, useless, and self centered, entitled..." Wow. This sentence perfectly describes my DH's youngest dick dumpling, SS14. (Shout out to the poster formerly known as "farting glitter" for introducing "dick dumpling" to my vocabulary. I use it often.) Blum 3

I'm clinging to the hope that SS will still somehow manage to launch on time in four years. By launch, I mean attending college full time or working full time and paying rent somewhere. If he doesn't launch, it will be the end of my marriage. I can't live with a useless adult ass sitter; it's just not a part of my family culture.

And there is no way in hell that my DH will ever deny this kid anything. He'll be allowed to live with us until he's 40 if that's what he wants, playing video games all day and eating all of our food. I will not live like that.

deprestepmom_30's picture

I don't like the fact that i feel the same as you do as far as ss13 moving on when of age...i mentioned that to my DH to see where here he stood on the topic and he said he would never kick his son out if he didn't want to leave.. :jawdrop: !! So looks like i will be making a decision in 5 years! It will come down to the choice of his family or taking care of baby FIDE 18 man...have fu with that cause i wont!

Monchichi's picture

Hi and great first blog.

I have so many questions my head is reeling. Does your husband do night shift work all the time so that he is not home in the mornings? Why didn't your SS know about his BM's situation earlier? Have you heard of ODD? Some of this stuff is supposedly teenager behavior. Have you tried taking away his electronics until he can perform clean morning habits? Have you left SS's mess for DH to find? A lot of us do that here.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, many of our step children have terrible toilet habits. Your positive is at least he goes in the toilet.

ChokinOnLemonz's picture

Welcome! And STOP cleaning up after SS. You are teaching him to carry on as usual every time he does. If he won't clean up after himself, let your DH know that you will be holding HIM accountable to from now.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

Does the kid have a facebook page.. start posting on there each time.. 'SS you forgot to flush the toilet again this morning!'

Oh Margie's picture

I. LOVE. THIS. That is f'ing brilliant!!!

By the way, OP, your mention of the two 4 year olds whispering about blankets and stuffed animals made me feel very warm and fuzzy inside, for the first time today. I have been decidedly un-fuzzy today, so thank you Smile

deprestepmom_30's picture

That is a Great Idea if He had one but he's not aloud one due to his age and his BM.....I got him though the other day infront of his Grandmother....he he....He asked what's to drink and I said, "SS-13, Why dont you drink some water because everyday I have noticed that your Urine is looking really dark orange...." HAHAHAHAHA....then DH chimmed in and asked me "How do you know what his urine looks like?" I just gave him a look and he instantly caught on and yelled at him for not flushing!!! It was 2 points for SM ha!!!!
hold the applaugse..... Dirol