I struggle with this one. My DH speaks to his kids in spanish - but only when he is angry with them it seems - so to me its bothersome since its done only when I am to stay out of it?? i can't help but feel that way.

I am all for bi-lingual though - so this is where I feel bad for being angry when he flips to Spanish on me.

Kids learn language better before age 2. The SKIDS are in english only schooling here, so at home Spanish is really all they will get. BM only speaks spanish to the kids.

SS6 has trouble with language in general - he is 6 and can barley carry on a conversation in either language. Last year in K he was put in a special english class for that very reason because he spoke a form of 'spanglish' where he was mixing words, I want jugo ! for example SS6 continues to be very very difficult to understand and its very hard on him in many ways.

SD12 didn't seem to have the problems SS6 has. In his case, I think BM and DH need to concentrate on his english skills due to his struggles.

I also find SS6 'making fun' of my daughters saying you don't even know spanish or what it is - its frustrating for me some days.

EDIT: Also a side effect, BD12 is refusing to take Spanish classes in school now, she wants Mandarin or French (I speak french) because SD12 speaks Spanish and makes BD12 feel stupid.... sigh

It is actually extremely smart to start at that age. Children develop and they absorb everything and it is a lot easier for them to develop speaking two languages. It is had as a teenager/adult to learn a second language that is why other countries start in pre/grade school. We had a German exchange student in high school that spoke 6 languages, he was fluent in them by 7 grade.

Personally I think that your SD is smart for starting young.

I know how you feel. DH moved his GM83 in with us and they will speak spanish to eachother. She is from South America and took DH there when he was a child to live for several years. They are fluent. Me, I just sit there and nod my head. It has always been hard for me to learn another language, it just takes me longer to comprehend language.

With a child, they can actually differentiate the languages. I know I heard somewhere that experts have said the best time to learn different languages is from up to age 5 because of how the brain is developing. So long as your SD is taking the time to speak to him in both english and spanish, and SGS is showing that he is understanding both of the languages (ex. you can show him a picture of a cat and he can say both "cat" and "gato") then he should be fine. He will actually be ahead of his generation, in a way, because he will be bi-lingual from the get go.

I saw one of those "baby Stories" on tv, where the mother was american and the father was i think from Norway or Sweden. The couple already had a child who was 4 or 5. When dad spoke to the child, he only spoke to the child in his native tounge, when mom spoke to the child, she always did so in english. This allowed the child to be bi-lingual from the moment he started speaking.

I wouldn't think he is confused, at that age its like learning multiple words for the same thing, eventually they sort it out that some words are considered a different language. SD12 figured it out. SS6 can't seem to grasp that.

Its like saying, cup\glass\tasse or bucket\pail - its just another word

Well, it's sad that even when others go to other countries if the native language is not english, everyone is pretty much expected to speak english so that the person who does speak english does not feel left out...but that's another story.

The fact is that kids who grow up with two languages from the day they are born have many, many, many benefits. You should read up about it. There are plenty of studies how this actually helps develop the brain differently and she's actually doing her a favor. The child hears english from the other 99% of people she meets, she'll pick it up. In addition, there are no delays that develop in language because of it. Again, I have read much about this, so you might want to do some research. Maybe instead, you should be grateful that your kids might actually pick up another language too.

Her father being illegal is the issue that I see with this more than anything. It is truly a shame that he is, because honestly, I think anyone who is illegal is breaking the law...but sadly, it's mostly a racial issue with people...although few care to admit it.

PS she could easily turn around and also tell you, "when you are in my home, speak Spanish..."

Right now is the best time. My coworker's wife is Japanese and she speaks Japansese to their one year old and he mostly speaks English (he knows a little Japanese). The little girl is picking up both languages and will easily be able to distinguish them when she gets a little older.

I think it's a great idea. ImaSmom is correct, most of the world speaks more than one language.

She may be doing it to piss you off. But the outcome will be great for her son.

Rich people pay bilingual nannies or au pairs from different countries a lot of money to speak their native language with the kids while theyre young so their kids can be bilingual.

Just sayin.

My SS11 is multilingual. I’ve been researching into this and I do not believe that kids can be bilingual without being behind in one language. The only way that it works is if there is equal exposure to both languages and there is additional instruction and tutoring in both languages.

My SS tests ok in English on standardized tests. Technically, he is not behind but no one in the world would ever confuse him with a native speaker. Compared to kids in our school district, he is wayyyy behind and has poor comprehension and speaking skills. He doesn’t understand the nuances of the English language and inverts words. He speaks with an accent that’s sometimes hard to understand. I wouldn’t consider him a success at being bilingual.

My SS11‘s BM is not from the US and spoke to him only in her native language as a baby/small child. She and DH broke up before SS was born and BM meet another guy she wanted to move to his country, so SS was introduced to his native language and only learned English during visits with his dad and at school.

BM wanted SS to speak with an accent and be centered in her culture and language. It really was away to alienate him from his dad since everything his dad did was so foreign to him when he was little.

When SS was little, he threw massive tantrums when his dad wouldn’t know what he was saying in his BM’s native language and he definitely didn’t get the difference between the languages and intermixed words all the time. He would have complete meltdowns in stores screaming in his BM’s native language and people would stare at DH like something was wrong with him.

Even now SS talks to him BM on the phone only in their native language even though they both speak English since it prevents DH from understanding what they’re saying.

It is an absolute disservice to kids to not make English their primary language. They can pick up more of other languages later, not have to make their teachers struggle to teach non-English speakers English in school while teaching them other subjects like math and science. And creating a language barrier in families just makes kids feel even more different and like they don’t belong.

But there’s no way to get the courts to even say a BM can’t do this or has to speak English.

Obviously really old post but I intentionally looked for spanish posts as I'm a hispanic american raising bi lingual children. My hsband speaks english and Im a native spanish speaker. Our 3 year old is learning both spanish and english and we read blogs such as https://bebesymadres.com , watch TV and read to her in spanish and english in order to impart both our cultures on her!