You are here

They ARE trainable. semi OT

ESMOD's picture

Yesterday was a good twofer for seeing hard work and "trainig" pan out.

 

First is the DH.  He has always been a pretty sucky present/holiday person.  I have always pretty much tried to not make a big deal especially since there were a lot of years we really didn't have extra (him esp.) to blow on presents etc...  But, recently, I really have kind of let him know that while I haven't made a big deal.. that getting something from him for my birthday.. Christmas.. Vday.. really WOULD be nice... and make me feel appreciated.. and that I kind of did expect it.  and.. "no, I am not going to go buy it for myself with your money".

So.. for my Bday this year.. I ended up with a nice gold bracelet.

And.. yesterday, I had flowers and chocolates on my doorstep when I got home.  He is working out of town this week.. so he went to some trouble to order it and have it delivered..

The man is learning..lol.

 

Second is my YSD.  Now, she is a good kid/woman .. Just turned 21.  She has been working for her FT job employer since she graduated HS.  She also has worked a 2nd job as well.  Well, they just asked if she was interested in a promotion that would require a move to a city a couple hours from where she lives now.  They offered her a 12% raise... which was only about 4-5K more a year... and the new place was going to cost a LOT more in living expenses and obviously woulndn't allow her to keep her 2nd job that had her earning a decent amount on top of her FT salary.  She was pretty disapointed that the pay wasn't going to be worth her taking on the extra responsibility (basically going from her plant payroll to payroll for her entire company) and having to give up the 2nd incom.  So.. she told them that what they offered was not what she was expecting.. and that she would have to think about it because she was not sure that she would be able to move for that amount.  They asked her what she wanted to move.. she said 50K base plus overtime... they called the guy in charge last night.. and they APPROVED THAT.. on the spot.  So.. she negotiated a 50% raise basically from her current salary.  Now.. her living expenses will go up.. but she may still have the chance to pick up a side job in the area she is moving since there are some nice restaurants there.. so maybe some good tip money will soften it a bit.

We have always been kind of "hard" on her.. be responsible.. work hard.. know your worth.. and it's paying dividends for her now.  Plus they pay for her college classes that she does online.. so that is a darn good job for someone without a college degree yet. 

I'm proud of her for sticking to her guns and getting what she deserved!

Comments

notsobradybunch's picture

I agree with the "No I'm not going to buy it myself with your money.." DH's theory on this stuff is if there's something I want I just go get it. Yes, this is true..BUT as silly as it sounds I would like a little effort made. Even if very nominal. I'm not materialistic..but a little something on these quirky holidays would be appreciated. For sure! Glad you got the flowers and chocolates! Incredibly sweet!!

ESMOD's picture

In a way, being on this site actually helped me be more proactive about what I need from people.. and how to make that known.

Because, it was easy for me to tell others. "use your words, how can they KNOW if you don't communicate and directly tell them?  and.. I't's not selfish to want to be remembered etc"  But I realized I was selling myself short a little because it's uncomfortable to advocate for ourselves sometimes... so this year.. when finances weren't such an issue.. I decided to not just be all "that's ok.. It's not a big deal".. and actually tellhim that I specifically expected a gift.. a thoughtful one.. and not a gun that he was already going to want to buy for himself..lol.

And he listened.. in fact my DH is great.  With specific "marching orders" he does listen.. but my prior beating around the bush and "hinting" weren't very effective..lol

I decided to not be a hypocrite and give advice I wasn't taking all the time myself..haha

 

notasm3's picture

It’s almost become a tradition that dh’s surprise for the holidays is finding out what he gave me. 

ESMOD's picture

haha.. yeah.. I think my dad had that going too.  My mom also used to do all the shopping for the whole house.  I just kind of put my foot down.. and insisted that if he wanted me to have a present.. that he better get me one...lol.

StepUltimate's picture

Wonderful your DH is now recognizing you on holidays with special gifts! And congrats to YSD, who obviously embraced what you taught her. AWESOME she looked at her numbers and communicated before deciding, instead of just making an emotion-based or ill-informed decision.

Glad you could share this excellent update! Biggrin