Was just told by 11 yo SD to "Get over it!"
And I am beyond livid...because once again DW did NOT back me up and let her say this without being punished...then had the NERVE to say it was my fault...IN FRONT OF SD! Therapy has been working very well and I was warned there would be lapses but my patience is running thin...very thin...
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I would tell her off! My
I would tell her off! My parents would still be beating the crap out of me and I'm 42...if my DH ever allowed his kid to treat me this way and I wad not allowed to discipline, I'd be out...you must be a saint!
I would immediately play the
I would immediately play the "in our room NOW!" card if my wife pulled that crap. Then I would provide absolute clarity that under no circumstance will either of us EVER undermine the other in front of any of the kids. I would also let her know that a repeat will immediately result in her leaving with her children while my/OUR children would be staying with me in the family home.
Of course she and her spawn could return once she agreed to the fact that the marriage comes before any of the kids and that under no circumstance will either of us EVER undermine the other in front of any of the kids
Fortunately there are no OUR children (yet) in our home so this would not have a huge impact on anyone but the three of us (her, our son (My SS) and I).
I have had to deliver this clarity message to my wife a couple of times when she has made the mistake of doing similar, though not as egregious, behaviors as you describe from your spouse.
The first discussion was in our room. Subsequent related discussions occurred immediately upon her slip up. "You WILL NOT undermine me in front of our Son. If you do not agree with what I am saying or doing you will ask me to step out of the room with you. I will extend the same courtesy to you should the need arise"
She turned purple, got very quiet and we talked about it later.
This methodology did not work all that well either so we came up with the current system.
Now when these things happen we send the kid out of the room, discuss the situation and come to some agreement then call the kid back in to finishing addressing the kid behavior issue.
That way neither of us is embarrassing the other in front of the kid.
Good luck and best regards,
HWGA Trust me I hear ya. But
HWGA Trust me I hear ya. But it's that slap in the face by DW compounding the problem and yeah yeah therapy is working well and i've been told its a process blah blah blah but you don't need therapy to see right from wrong imo and SD was completely wrong...some habbits die hard I guess, but make no mistake, as I have told my DW after this incident, that was the last time that will happen in MY house. If she doesn't see fit to do what is necessary, THEN I WILL!
I am going to sound negative
I am going to sound negative but if your DW doesn't back you up...you are fighting a losing battle. Your SD is disrespectful and she is this way because your wife doesn't correct it. I live this life and I know how you feel. My BF daughter does the exact same crap...not with me...but with her father. He and the BM allow this to happen so it does and will only get worse.