I must be out of my mind.....or maybe I'm the only sane one

So, DH finds out that SD13 has posted EXTREMELY inappropriate things on her MySpace page. Mind you, this is the MySpace account that I begged she not get b/c I was afraid of this exact thing (I told him NONE of the kids needs them and he let SS14 have it, so then I felt bad that SD13 didn't get one). AND I told him NOT to let them have the internet in their rooms b/c of this EXACT reason and of course he didn't listen and they have it in their rooms. SO anyway, she's posting horrible things, being WAY over sexual, taking a little too sexy pictures (at least as far as I'm concerned), asking to see pictures of guys w/o their shirts on, telling them "i'm not a whore, or am i? LOL" (I'm so not laughing), asking them about when they last had a Bj, telling them she's like a guy that likes to have fun but doesnt' go all the way, telling them where she lives, talking to guys with names like "fk the mfkn world" AND THIS is the little girl that tries to act like a perfect little Christian girl in front of her dad and grandparents. I KNEW this was going to happen, I'm so disgusted that she would talk like this it's making me sick to my stomach. As some of you know she was molested and raped for 4.5 years so OF COURSE I'm even more concerned wtih behavior like this. And in tears I beg DH to put her back in counseling and he keeps telling me that it's not gonna help and he's not gonna do it and there's pretty much nothing I can do about it. She's even claiming to be 90% philipino, which she's MAYBE 25% and that side of her family is the people who did all these heinous things to her you'd think she'd want to deny any part of them, so why would you BRAG about it and then exagerate it. (Okay, I know that part probably is just me being overly sensitive to this but it still bothers me). I don't know what to do, I'm so disgusted by her talk and her behavior and everything else that I don't even want to talk to her about it I kinda wanna throw up. Where is this headed? I've read the statistics on girls who've been molested and the statistics are stacked against her, and she's THIRTEEN, I didn't know what a BJ or a whore was at 13 (I'm only 27, I'm not that much older than her). Why am I the only one concerned? DH is just gonna take the computer priviledges away for a month and then give them right back to her. He deleted her MySpace account, but seriously when is he gonna open his eyes that she really needs help, I'm so afraid for where she is headed, I'm scared for her and I'm disgusted that this is what she thinks is cool and that she would talk like this.
Well, thanks for the vent. I have to head to work.
Dawn

fizzyfuzzy's blog
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Your post scares me

because I see myself in your SD at that age. I wish I could climb inside her head and let her feel the pain and shame that I felt. I was 13 when I lost my virginity to a 20 year old drug dealer. After breaking up with him, he found me, raped me twice, then stalked me for six years. Of couyrse this was a lifetime ago, but I still have a problem with going anywhere alone and never feeling safe. It has affected (and ended) good relationships in my life. My parents felt the same way about therapy. tried it, didn't work, didn't like what the therapist had to say. So that was the end. It caused an even further downward spiral. It destoyed my entire teenager and early adult life. I now have discovered therapy again and have dealt with so much, but this is twenty years later.

If your SD is doing these things, it is because these boys showing interest in her helps her feel better... if only for the moment. She has pain inside from her trauma that needs to be dealt with. This behavior in not typical or acceptable. PLEASE have your husband read this, email me if he wants. Deleting her page is not the solution. Grounding her won't solve anything. Your husband needs to stop pretending that everything is ok. His daughter is going to end up in a VERY bad situation.

I am so sorry for you. I understand now the pain that I caused my family. I have also gone through this with my niece and know how it rips a family to pieces. I pray that your DH will wake up and listen to you. You are in my prayers

Thank You

Thank you so much for the helpful words. I haven't completely given up on DH coming to his senses. I want to, but I refuse to give up hope, this is a little girl crying for help and a dad who refuses to realize that this isn't normal, I don't care what "other kids" are doing!! What has happened to her opens her to things that we'll never know until they come up and they're coming up but he's not seeing it as that and he actually gets upset at me when I try to put the two together. He'll come to his senses, he has to, she needs him to! I need him to!
I've kept up on your blog too and I feel your pain also. I'm glad I found this website. At first I was afraid I was "weak" (for lack of a better word) to use a website, but then I realized that everyone needs help and being a step parent is so hard and no one knows that until they are one!