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Anybody know why DH lies to me about talking to his ex?

halfstepmom2skids's picture

Skids missed school Monday because BM went to a steelers game and she left the kids with a friend. The friend apparently couldn't/wouldn't take them to school. DH got a call from school saying they were absent. DH called me flipping out what a lazy b*tch she is and said the school said she would get charges for this cuz it is repetitive. My SS11 stayed with us last night cuz BM wont take him to basketball so we do. I asked him why they were both absent from school again and he told me his mom went to a steelers game sunday and the babysitter wouldn't take them to school and he really want to go cuz of a presentation he was doing. He also told me Mimi, DH's mom, wouldn't watch them either.
Light bulbs went off cuz DH was acting like he knew nothing about watching them. There is no way BM called Mimi and not DH to watch kids. We were out of town also so we couldn't watch them either.
Is he protecting an inappropriate relationship with her by not telling me and then lying to me that he knew nothing about it? He says he didn't know anything about it and I know he did. I am obsessing over it because it hurts that he lies to me everytime when situations take place with BM.

Comments

skylarksms's picture

Is there a CO in place? Does it have the Right to First Refusal in the CO?

If not, make that a priority for your next court hearing.

tofurkey's picture

All I can tell you is that I've been there before, and you need to put a stop to this NOW. DH used to keep from me constantly when BM would contact him and what was discussed. He kept telling me that he would lie to me about it because he wanted to "avoid an argument". Well, that sent me over the edge. I told him first of all, if you are discussing anything ANYTHING other than SD, then yes it's inappropriate and I will get pissed. But there is a simple way to avoid that: DON'T DO IT! Second of all, if you are to keep in contact with your ex gf regarding the kid, then I want to know when and details. If I had to keep in contact with my ex for the same reason, I would give you that respect and let you know you could trust me and I was being open with you. I explained that while I may get annoyed by the fact that he hasto converse with this idiot, the only way I will get pissed is if he doesn't tell me and that if he can't manage to be honest with me in regards to that situation it would never work out. After I hammered it into his head, he finally got it and now lets me know everytime she contacts him.

violetforest's picture

serious chat time. BF and you can also be held liable for the kids not making it to school on time if this has been a behavior that continues to go on. Start your documentation and ask for placement since the kids are not getting to school go for child support and raise the kids so that they get an education.