Cause and effect..is it really that hard to understand...for my skids apparently
Ugh....my skids do not get the concept of cause and effect. Its not that hard..you do a...that causes b to happen.
This is especially true for grades and their Dad's attitude toward them.
DH is very big on getting decent grades..not all A's but A's and B's. He believes that is doable and if you need help we will help you or get you help.
I don't think this is an unreasonable request.
My skids cannot get that
Cause: do not do and/or turn in work
Effect: you receive failing grads for those assignments.
Cause: do not study for a test
Effect: You fail the test
Cause: receive failing grades on assignments and on tests
Effect: You are failing the class.
Cause: You are failing a class
Effect: DH rides your butt to do your work, study, get help.
WTF..is so hard about this. Don't like DH riding your ass...DON'T DO THE ABOVE.
Cause: do your work and turn in
Effect: get a decent grade on assignments
Cause: study for test
Effect: get a decent grade on the test
Cause: receve decent grades
Effect: DH doesn't ride your ass and will reward you.
THEY CANNOT GET THIS...in fact GWR wont' see DH ...because he was mean by riding him about his grades. (Interesting....not having DH riding his ass didn't magically make him do better in school...he is still failing)
SD is now in the same boat....failing algebra...doesn't like DH riding her about doing homework...has missing assignments in all classes...doesn't like DH telling her to get help for algebra (DD is a math tutor and in a math based major in college...and LIVES HERE).
I just do not get it....my kids understood cause and effect....DS was failing German in high school. He came to me and asked for tutor. They got you needed to do homework and study.
ITS JUST SO FRUSTRATING....
I stay out of it...cause skids are DH's problem..not mine. But damn...
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Dealing with the same here.
Dealing with the same here. SD is SO lazy. She just flat out doesn't turn in work. Then DH rides her about it, and she has to spend hours making up work. If she would have just done it in the FIRST place, she wouldn't have to waste her evenings and weekends doing HW.
They had a blow up last night about it actually.
DH: "Why do you keep lying to me and say you're doing your work, but you have all zeros?"
SD: "I didn't lie because technically I didn't say I was doing it... I said I would do it later."
DH: "It's not that hard, just do it in the first place and stop being a smart @ss about it."
SD: "Can I call my mommmmmm"
Yes, please call your mom and feed the narrative of how mistreated you are. And how you blame your laziness on your Dad. UGH. So frustrating. She has already been coming over less. Hoping that stays the case.
Ugh.
Im feeling this so much. And am ready to walk away. Its like pulling teeth. I need to be a dentist, because Im getting good at it.
Its the dribbles and drabbles of work being done. This is what is driving me crazy right now. And I need to walk away when it starts bothering me.
It will be all OK
BM. Will take them got fast food and let them cry in there ice cream. Buy them some electronic thing. All will be better .
School are for the smart kids,
You are not far off
taco hell and starbucks to the rescue...
I read the book "Why Bright
I read the book "Why Bright Kids get Poor Grades" to figure this out with SS. Right in the book was a description of their family dynamic - a mother who tells the kids that the father is an "ogre" for having expectations about grades, and creates an underachiever. That's only one part of it, there is lots of other interesting information - here's a snippet:
http://2enewsletter.com/subscribers_only/arch%20Rimm%20book%20review%201...
I might have to buy this for DH
This will be his Christmas present.
Same here
Although Chef, who didn't care for school much himself AND was the very last child from two marriages, plus a huge brood before him; aka feral with exhausted, elderly parents, tried for about two seconds to see to skid's schoolwork, then gave up.
All three skids graduated with the absolute least amount of effort as the Gir is the classic enmeshed HCGUBM who has zero standards for her "confidant" children.
They don't see the big
They don't see the big picture chain of command. Like Clove's Skid not seeing that her inability to complete art assignments on time now may torpedo her chance to go to the college of her choice in 4 years. they don't see that the inability to do well in school now may lead to hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost earning power when they are adults.. the cause and effect.. and the weight of the seriousness of the effect are too far apart for them to get any real lesson.
SD keeps telling everyone she wants to go to college
ok...sure....but unless she suddendly gets
cause and effect principle....she won't go.
smh....